Selective Comparisons of Dubious Validity: CU-NU

The day after Thanksgiving will once again witness the acrimonious meeting of the Buffaloes and the Cornhuskers. As the saying goes, in a rivalry game like this, throw out the record books! So how on Earth are we to handicap such a game? Why, with selective comparisons of dubious validity, of course! Shall We?

1) Coaching Staffs (Staves?): NU has first year head coach and rage-aholic Bo Pelini leading the ship. He's added emotion and a modicum of defensive competence to the Huskers team. The Buffs have 3rd year Zen master Dan Hawkins spreading the wisdom and love in Boulder. Dan's a pacifist but in an insane and unpredictable way. Bo's a hot head who you suspect is a serial killer. Advantage - Nebraska.

2) Quarterbacks: NU has strong armed Joe Gantz under center in his first full year as a starter. He's chucking the ball with authority and racking up impressive stats. Cody Hawkins has re-emerged from the bench to add spunk and shortness to the Buff offense. Joe once desecrated an ancient Egytian mummy's crypt by farmer-blowing a loogy into it. Cody's smile cures cancer. Advantage - Colorado.

3) States: Nebraska is arguably the bread-basketest of all midwestern states where hard working folk grow and harvest food for a hungry planet. Colorado boasts stunning natural beauty and economic and technological vitality that is the envy of the Mountain states region. Colorado is an international outdoor tourists destination while Nebraska is #55 on the the average American's "must see US states or territories" list. Advantage - Colorado

4) Fan Base: Nebraska fans are dedicated and knowledgeable. They sell out every home game going back to the days of Jesus. Each and every fan knows every single player on the team - their up-to-minute career stats, hometown, favorite bible passage and inseam length. Colorado fans are fickle, rarely sell out their smallish stadium, have no idea who is the team's leading receiver and are mostly high. NU fans are ugly and CU fans are gorgeous. Advantage - Colorado

So in summary, Colorado has distinct advantages in 3 of the 4 categories of comparison. Clearly CU wins in a route not unlike the Grenada invasion. I strongly suggest that you wager what's left of your 401K on the Buffs. Operators are standing by.

Bumper Stickers

The CU marketing department has been hard at work creating promotional bumper stickers for the 2008 season. Late though they may be, here are some of their gems:

2008 CU Football Come fore the excitement. Stay Anyway.

2008 CU FOOTBALL Ask us about our Aerospace Engineering program!

2008 CU FOOTBALL Even smaller than you think

2008 CU FOOTBALL Clearly High

2008 CU FOOTBALL Oh yeah, we're bringing it out

2008 CU FOOTBALL Breaking preconceptions one kick at a time

2008 CU FOOTBALL Hawkins, Hansen, Hawkins, Hansen, Hansen/Hawkins, definitely Hawkins

2008 CU FOOTBALL Check out the views!

2008 CU FOOTBALL Feel the potential!

2008 CU FOOTBALL Not technically worse than last year

2008 CU FOOTBALL The 2nd play of the 3rd series will be a reverse!

2008 CU FOOTBALL Like the opening scene from Saving Private Ryan

2008 CU FOOTBALL It's almost ski season!

2008 CU FOOTBALL Reducing our carbon footprint by driving less

2008 CU FOOTBALL Seeking not the target but to become the bow since 2006

Cody, Cody, Cody!

[Editor's note: Buffalover is unable to author the blog this week. He's busy saving the planet from inefficient energy consumption - boo, pollution!! Filling in is Alison Suzanne Porterkounkel, CU sophomore Communications major and proud member of Chi Omega sorority.]



Oh. My. God!!!! Did you see that cute boy throw all of those touchdown passes!? Like, that other dorky boy was such an embarrassment in the first half against, I'm sure, the lamest team in the whole Big 12, Iowa State. But then Cody, who was all in trouble or whatever with his dad, came in and OMG - he was totally the bomb! He was, like, throwing all over the field and making first downs and controlling the clock and you know, like, not getting sacked and stuff. It was almost like he had a competent or healthy offensive line or something... as if!

You know, I always liked him best. Lately all of the other girls (shallow bitches) were all like "Tyler, Tyler, Tyler!" But not me, I was still like, "Cody, Cody, Cody!!!!" He's so cute! And he's so little, you just want to put him in your pocket!

And I don't want to be all like that or anything but I've got the biggest crush on Jimmy Smith. Eeeee! Totally dreamy! Tall and strong and fast and everything. It's like, where has this hottie been all season. But I saw him first! You bitches were all, like, "DJ Dykes is super cool", and like "I'm all about Jeff Smart". Not me, I was totally into Jimmy before you even knew he was a cornerback. A REALLY BIG cornerback. God, he is so IT!

Also - Cody, Cody, Cody!!! Aaaiiiiigh!

And so, there's this team, Okie State, coming to play this Saturday. I guess it's at night or something. And I guess they're supposed to be all good and stuff. You know, they score millions of points and all that. And their coach thinks he's just "A MAN!" or something. Whatevs! My boys Cody and Jimmy will show them what it's all about. Totally the hottest boys, EVER!!!!

Revenge upon the 'Clones

Remember what happened upon the turf in Ames, Iowa at last year's CU/ISU game? That's right, a very severe screwing administered at the "discretion" of a certain referee by the name of Clete Blakeman, Nebraskan and sworn enemy of all that is decent and good. Relive the magic here.

Clete's crime was punished the following week as the Buffs whom he cheated took out their frustration on the Huskers to the tune of 65 points. That was sweet, indeed, but the book shall not be closed on the great Blakeman Blunder until CU finally gets that win against Iowa State. That day will arrive on Saturday.

Please understand that I have no ill will toward ISU. They are a good little school, they wear uniforms that are strikingly similar to USC's and they are one of 2 schools in the Big XII that hail from Blue states. All in all, there is a lot to love about those kids from Ames. But the Buffs must crush them severely and without mercy this Saturday until the field runs red with Iowa State blood. Nothing personal.

Cripple fight

I've spent the last week fruitlessly attempting to purge my memory of the brutal 58-0 beating that was administered to the Buffs by Mizzou last weekend. I've been at this college football fanatic business for many years now and I can honestly tell you that this loss was among the most reprehensible. All props to Missouri for playing an excellent game, but the Buffs displayed a level of dispassion and dip-shittery so acute that everyone who watched is now sadder and dumber for it. Buffaloes, you know I love you, but I award you no points and may God have mercy on your souls:


OK. What's next? The Buffs now travel to Texas A&M to take on the similarly hapless Aggies. TAMU is going through one of those dreaded "coaching transitions" which can only mean that they are engulfed in flames that refuse to be dampened by the river of tears cried by their fans. In other words, they are us two years ago. But buck up, Aggies look how far we've come! You're just 2 short years away from maybe being a .500 team. Soldier on, now.

This tilt will not be pretty. Two poor teams finding new and interesting ways to disgrace my life's passion. The only redeemable thing about this matchup is that the television networks have seen fit to not broadcast it - lest our eyes be blinded by the potential horrors to be wrought upon the turf of Kyle Field. You'll listen to the broadcast on the radio, of course. I recommend doing so while watching tape of the "Miracle in Michigan". You'll be glad you did.

Crazy? Crazy like a Hawk!

If you are a student of the ancient art of combat, as I am, you know that there are but two over arching heuristics that should always guide you on the the field of battle:

1) Never bring a knife to a gun fight
2) Never fight an insane person

These guiding principles create a conundrum for both Missouri Coach Gary Pinkel and CU Coach Dan Hawkins this week.

You see, Hawkins brings a clearly outmatched team to Columbia, Missouri this weekend to face the fearsome (if somewhat blemished) Mizzou Tigers. The offensive weapons presented by MU are as terrifying of a grouping as I have seen in the Big XII North in recent memory. Chase Daniel, Jeremy Maclin, Chase Coffman are just a few of the awe inspiring athletes who aim to batter our Buffs. All respect to the Tigers - they are indeed bringing a gun to this fight. The Buffs, sadly, bring a knife.

On the other hand, that knife will be wielded by a certifiably insane man, our beloved Dan Hawkins. This is the man who just last week baffled the Kansas State coaching staff by randomly inserting a previously unknown, redshirting, 5th string quarterback Tyler Hansen into the game and asking him to run around like a chimp on meth. This crazy "strategy" actually worked, and the Buffs pulled off a weird win. If you are Gary Pinkel tonight, you are lying awake in bed wondering what ridiculous move that crackpot Hawkins will pull this week... equipment manager sent in to kick field goals, Cody at linebacker, the swinging gate formation, fumblruski, punt on 3rd down?

With these factors at play, I don't think anyone can predict just what will happen on Saturday in Columbia. We'll just have to tune in and find out what sort of madness the night has in store for us.

In completely irrelevant and unrelated news, Chase Daniel eats boogers:


Adventures in academic excellence - a profile of Kansas State University

Let's see, who is on the schedule this week? Oh, Kansas State that famous outpost of learning that has launched the career of many a astronaut big box retail employee.

For nearly as long as I can remember, K-State football has made it's living by recruiting junior college players. The kind of guys who probably couldn't be admitted to any other accredited university in the country are routinely welcomed with open arms onto the K-State campus. This amazes, and exasperates me. I don't mean to be an "elitist" or anything but, let's be honest, so-called "junior colleges" are essentially the sub-prime mortgages of the education world. They accept every miscreant who walks through the door, rarely get paid, and ultimately threaten to topple the entire education system with their reckless and unqualified student bodies. Ultimately and predictably, they'll be asking us to bail them out - of jail, that is.

Quick poll:
Your average junior college instructor is:

a) fulfilling a court mandated community service
b) selling dope
c) trembling in fear
d) wearing a kevlar vest
e) all of the above

(The answer is "e". If you are a junior college student, you answered "7")

This year's K-State rosters is perhaps the most JC-rific lineup of all times. A quick scan through the team's website reveals 37 players who have come to KSU via JCs, CCs and similar institutions just this side of state prison. Behold the alma maters par excelence:

Harbor CC
Santa Barbara CC
Coffeyville College
Garden City CC
Butler County CC
Tyler JC
Independence CC
Hutchinson JC
Miss. Delta CC
Johnson County CC
Emporia State
Rainy River CC
El Camino CC
College of San Mateo
Santa Rosa JC
Copiah-Lincoln CC
Sacramento CC
Compton CC
Bakersfield College
San Francisco CC

Ahh, the swelling pride that must be felt by a K-State booster as he gazes upon the student-athletes who represent his school. His other source of pride is the handsome and inspiring mascot, Willie the Wildcat:


May Buddha ave mercy on your soul, K-State.

The enormous opportunity - Jayhawks

Someday soon we'll all look back and remember when Kansas was good. As sudden and improbable as their rise has been, their fall will be equally swift. Coach Mangino is a morbidly obese genius who has taken the forlorn-est of college football programs and turned it into a winner. But each beat of his massive heart brings him one second closer to the coronary embolism which is his fate. And as goes Mangino, so goes Kansas.

Do not get me wrong, I harbor no animosity toward Kansas nor Coach Mangino. He's unapologetically grotesque and undeniably gifted at coaching the game of football. That's cool, my friends, damn cool. Hey Koolaid!


Who knows, maybe that great turning point will come Saturday. Perhaps the Buffs will rise up from the morass in which they currently find themselves. The Buffs offense will begin to click once again, the defense will wrap up Todd Reesing and the special teams will stop embarrassing themselves. I fear that the shocking turn of events will dislodge some enormous Crisco crystal deep within a Mangino central artery. As that coronary iceberg winds it's way through the caverns of cookie dough that line the coach's veins, the end draws closer for the Kansas Jayhawks football glory days.

So live it up Jayhawks for the reunion with the conference doormat is nigh. Soon all you'll have is fantastic basketball, miles of bucolic grasslands and, of course, batshit crazy creationist zealots.

Go Buffs!

I forgive you, Mack Brown

Ahhh, Texas. It's been a while since we've seen those boys. Let's see when was that? Oh yeah, 2005 Big XII championship game. How'd that turn out?


Oh that's right. With the UT blowout (final score 70-3) well underway, Texas continued to blitz Joel Klatt in a murderous rage until, at last, they ended his storied CU career with this concussing blow to the jaw.

Really, no hard feelings. What's a little battery acid in an open, organs spilling out wound among friends right? Bygones.

I seek not revenge. Dan Hawkins has taught me to love my brother, turn the other cheek, and of course to seek not the target but to become the bow. I asked Hawk how the injustice that felled Joel Klatt can go unpunished. Guru Dan, paused, inhaled deeply and spake these words that I shall never forget and never comprehend - "The universe is a circle. Justice is nowhere and justice is everywhere." He smelt strongly of weed and musky BO.

So, gentle Buffalo follower, please come to old Folsom Field on Saturday night. Seek out a burnt orange clad visitor, embrace him, and tell him that you forgive him. Remind him that the universe is indeed a circle and wish him a full recovery from the unnecessarily malicious blitzing concussion that will one day scramble his gray matter. Then, if possible, pants him.

FSU - the name game

Yeah, I know. You want to read insightful analysis for the upcoming CU-FSU game. A game that, were CU to win, could launch us into the national rankings for the first time in years. You may want to know how the Buff O can hope to move the ball against terrifyingly enormous and fast 'Nole D. You might want to know if the offensive incompetence of FSU so far this season is an anomaly or a trend. Well, go read espn.com. I've got more important things to discuss here.

[Incidentally, I did just check espn.com and this was the headline:
Ahh c'mon, the Worldwide Leader editors did that on purpose, right?!]

Ahem, where was I?

Oh yes... You see, when I think of the vaunted Florida State football program I think "Boy, I bet they have some *awesome* names on their roster." I mean, who could forget Decody Fagg from last year? Let's investigate the current offering, shall we?

Wow, as I peruse the FSU roster, I am certainly not disappointed. But there are so many gems on this team, where to start? Better categorize:

"Apostro-rific" Category: (surprisingly only 2)
- D'Vontrey Richardson
- Ja'Baris Little

"I'll bet you several dollars you've never met a person with this name" Category:
- Ochuko Jenije
- Nathan O'Jibway
- Toddrick Verdell
- Dekoda Watson
- Ed Imeokparia
- Neefy Moffett
- Caz Piurowski
- Taiwan Easterling
- Tim Orange
- Toshmon Stevens

"Possible porn stage name" Category:
- Zach Hobby
- Will Furlong
- A.J. Ganguzza
- Budd Thacker

And finally, the "If the Heisman were based on awesome names, he'd be a finalist" Category:
- Mister Alexander


From a name standpoint, the Buffs absolutely cannot compete with the 'Noles.

As I read through our own roster, I am overcome with shame. Once again, it reads like role call at a suburban Cub Scout meeting. There's a Gardner, a Scotty, a Trace, a Dustin, a Cameron, 2 Devins and 2 Codys. Merit badges and neat haircuts abound!

Sure, there are a handful of possible porn stage names - gay porn stage names! Check it - BJ Beatty, Devin Head and DJ Dykes. Hot!

But alas there is saving grace and thy name is "Sons of Polynesia". The great rule of the universe is that the coolest, most vowel-rific names (and haircuts) come from the handsome and genetically freakish Pacific Islanders. CU always has a few and here they are:
- Michael Sipili
- Nate Vaiomounga
- Lynn ("That's right, LYNN!" glares menacingly) Katoa
- Sione Tau
and possible best football name EVER...
- Max Tuioti-Mariner


There you have it - the name game. Tune in next week as we explore the home towns and possibly majors of our next opponent.

Go Buffs!

Honey, I shrunk the backfield

The tremendous victory over West Virginia last Thursday was monumental for a Colorado program that has been steadily resurrecting itself under Coach Dan Hawkins. Beating a ranked team loaded with speed and talent before a national audience is just what the Buff doctor ordered. The tough times, of course, are not over for this team - especially with the typically brutal schedule we have to fight through. But big fun has returned, I suspect, to stay!

The most amazing thing about the game was the emergence of Rodney Stewart. If Speedy is not the mythical magical black leprechaun of lore then I just don't know who is. The nearly microscopic, lightly recruited, diminutive, very small Ohioan busted out for 166 yards rushing against the vaunted defense of West By God Virginia. It just goes to prove what the Dali Lama has always taught - "one cannot tackle what one can not perceive." True that, Lama.

Perhaps the improbable image of a midget quarterback and a leprechaun tailback standing behind the enormous CU O-line had a disorienting effect that rendered WVU coach, Bill Stewart, woozy and unable to call a time-out in order to give his team a shot at a winning field goal as time expired in regulation. Perhaps the apparent aneurysm was brought on by the "blackout" effect of 55,000 black clad, screaming, drunken (with enthusiasm!) fans. Regardless, karma wanted us to win this game in order to even a certain score. Win we did. The spontaneous celebration that followed exemplified everything that is right and beautiful about college football.



Go Buffs!

Thursday Night Club

Remember the 80s? Thursday night club - that was so cool! At least I thought it was probably pretty cool for you history majors to go out and party your asses off. Personally I was home, buried under a crushing class workload, sweating stress bullets about how I might never pass that Thermodynamics and Heat Transfer midterm. But I was happy for you. Really. Ahh, nostalgia.

Anyway... Thursday night once again springs magical. For this Thursday the Buffs host the (recently) top 10 West Virginia Mountaineers. The 'Eers boast a collection of speed rarely seen in these parts and a Heisman candidate quarterback named Pat White. Don't be fooled by the fact that WVU was upset by East Carolina in their last game, these guys are for real. This will be a revealing test in which we'll find out just how far our Buffs have come.

It's an historical matchup as well. Behold, facts and fact-like things:

• West Virginia is the 15th all-timing winningest major college football program while CU is 16th.
• CU and WVU have never played one another.
• The modern spread offense was largely pioneered at West Virginia.
• West Virginia's state theme song is "Take Me Home, Country Roads". Colorado's is "Rocky Mountain High". Both songs are by John Denver.
• West Virginia knows no equal in field of self-promotional t-shirt excellence. Exhibits A and B:

Moving on...

It should be a great matchup and a unique college football environment. Two storied programs meeting on a school night before a national audience. A crazed home crowd clad in all black creating a high altitude, dizzying veritgo never before experienced by Eastern types. Beloved CU alum and ESPN college football God, Chris Fowler calling the game. Special. CU Thursday!

Buffs go to Mars!

Pardon the brief departure from the topic of football. There is a bit of news today concerning our beloved University and its continued leadership in space explorations. See the excellent article at the Daily Camera about CU's $485M NASA grant for the upcoming MAVEN Mars mission. My favorite quote from the article:

CU receives more research dollars from NASA than any other university, and it is the only school in the world to have designed, built and launched instruments to every planet in the solar system.

Minds to match our mountains, kids. And we play football too - wooo!

EWU Eagles Eager to Eschew Ewes' Errors

Game 1 featured a rough around the edges Buffs performance. Many penalties and several missed opportunities. However, despite working out the kinks in a new offense, despite playing mostly freshmen and sophomores, despite playing a team who treats this as their ultimate game each year - despite all of that, the Buffs cruised to a comfortable victory over adorable little brother, CSU. Wow, it seems like ages since we began the season with a comfortable win. Hooray for cupcakes!

So at 1-0, the Buffs now prepare for their next opponent - the Eastern Washington Eagles. The Eagles hail from the subdivision previously know as D1-AA. Some may consider schools from the lower divisions to be pushovers, but we Buffs still sport open wounds from a certain beating by a certain D1-AA team just 2 years ago. So don't expect the Buffs to take the Eagles lightly. Humility is a valuable asset even if gained from the brutalest of nut-kickings.

No, EWU is no patsy. They are top 10 in their divion and they have an innovative offense that ran up well over 300 yards passing and 24 points against Texas Tech just last weekend. But what other interesting things are there to know about Eastern Washington University? Why literally ones of interesting things, my friends. For instance:

• Home = Cheney, Washington
• Year founded = 1882
• Original school name = Benjamin P. Cheney Academy
• Second school name = State Normal School
• Name of Mascot = Swoop (Nike lawyers, you are sleeping on the job)
• Famous Alumni = Launi Meili, gold medalist in women’s three-position smallbore rifle shooting at the 1992 Summer Olympics
• Number of players on roster with vowel-rific, Polynesian sounding names = 3

[Note to reader: Where else can you get this kind of scouting report? I can't believe that I do this for FREE!]

So we'll clearly have our work cut out for us as the delegates of this venerable Eastern Washington University visit us on Saturday and attempt once again to place foot firmly into our nether regions. So bring out your shoutin' shoes, Game 2 is on.

Go Buffs!

Super Bowl Sunday

The time is drawing near. The off-season is coming to a close. College football reappears to the joy of its waiting disciples. The universe comes into alignment yet again after lo these many months. Kickoff!

Yes, friends, it's back. Football is back. The Buffs finally take the field yet again on an early fall Sunday (!) evening at Mile High Stadium. The Cow State Rams play their Super Bowl, as usual, at the beginning of the season. We've seen it year after year. The goats play their best game of the season against the Buffs. On paper it almost always should be a blow out, but in reality it is almost always a dog fight. Bring your lunch, boys, we're in for a slog.

And a night game, no less. That could mean one and only one thing - CSU riot, tear gas and Denver police finally using those shiny night sticks that went untested during the DNC. Hoo boy, when the bumpkins come to the big city mayhem ensues!

As far as the game goes, his year's contest is particularly compelling. You see the elders over at Corn & Sorghum University decided to run off a certain coach by the name of Sonny Lubick. The same Sonny Lubick who recorded more wins than any CSU coach in history, who turned the CU/CSU game into the legitimate rivalry that it is today and for whom the field at the CSU stadium is named. Strange. In his place is a first year head coach by the name of Steve Fairchild. Never heard of him.

So, frankly, I don't know what to expect. Sure, the Buffs should win by a mile. But this game never has gone as predicted and isn't likely to start now. Welcome, Steve Fairchild (if that's your real name), to the donnybrook that is the Rocky Mountain Showdown. Sunday night, we dine in Hell!

Go Buffs!

Who Dey? Pre-season analysis part II - the defense

So now that Buffalover's insightful analysis has declared the 2008 Buff offense to be "good", let's quiet the celebration a bit and look honestly at our defense, shall we?

Defensive Line:
The interior of this line is perhaps the best we've seen in a decade. George Hypolite (pictured) and Brandon Nicholas are seasoned, senior, nasty, mean, tenacious, fierce defensive linemen. They will clog up the middle, prevent the run and occupy several blockers. These big uglies are so beautiful to me. On one end, they are joined by Mo Lucas - the Patrick Williams of the defense. Mo has always had the look of a world beater but has simply never arrived. This is the year for him to catch fire and wreak havok. He's our greatest hope for creating the QB pressure that we so obviously lacked last year.

Linebackers:
Let us all pause and thank Buddha for delivering to us the greatest linebacker coach in college football, Brian Cabral. This mustachioed magician has delivered another crop of outstanding 'backers. Though you can never, ever replace a guy like Jordan Dizon (pauses, sheds tear, thumps chest)... I tell you that the LB corp will be OK. Starting will be the trio of Jeff Smart, Marcus Burton and Brad Jones. There will be plenty of rotations though at these positions because the group is so deep. Michael Sipili (pictured), who returns after last year's suspension for after hours fisticuffs (the pass time of champions), will be a ferocious force. He is huge, fast and hits like a, well, Michael Sipili!

DBs:
Now for the sobering part of the analysis. Terrence Wheatley is now gone, playing in the NFL (pauses, sheds tear, thumps chest)... In his place are two new cornerbacks both small, both untested. The well apostrophied Cha'pelle Brown joins Garner McKay as the two most likely to be blamed for losses. At safety are the experience duo of DJ Dykes (insert sophomoric joke here) and Ryan Walters (pictured). Walter is the leader of this misfit crew and he is a good man. He is a second generation Buff and someone who will positively destroy his own body in order to inflict pain on opposing receivers. I love that man and I wish him godspeed in his pain inflicting mission.

Summary:
The good news is, we'll be great at stopping the run. The bad news is, we'll be poor at stopping the pass. That would be reasonably fantastic news if this was the Big 8 and the year was 1980. But alas it's the Big XII of 2008 and this conference flings the pig around a bit, no? So brace yourselves, brothers and sisters, we're in for a rocky ride.

Who Dey? Pre-season analysis - part I, the offense

Just as in the past two seasons, predicting the performance of the the 2008 Buff football team is a bit like predicting what a two year old might do with a box of crayons. He might scribble a picture of a dog on the dining room wall. He might re-create Salvador Dali's finest on canvas. But probably he'll just eat the crayons and later crap the bed (in technicolor). Ahh, the Buffs... Little scoundrels.

That said, here is my pre-season analysis of our beloved brothers in black, beginning with the offense.

This year's group will feature a no huddle attack run primarily out of the shotgun. Cody Hawkins (the scamp pictured here) will be the starter at QB and, despite his diminutive stature, will lead the team well and perform admirably. That is, of course, until his inevitable season ending injury. The kid is definitely tough and survived a whole season as a freshman starter last year but, c'mon, eventually the big angry men are going to crush the small boy, no? We'll look back fondly on the days when little Cody was at the helm as we watch the backups, Nelson & Ballenger, struggle mightily. Eventually they'll stabilize and fill in adequately and unremarkable.

At running back, we are young but deep. Demetrius Sumler will start to begin the season but freshman Great Scott (pictured) will soon break in and should share plenty of carries with the running back committee of all shapes and sizes. We'll run productively and catch out of the backfield. We'll see talent and speed not witnessed in Black & Gold since the days of Brown & Purify. But likewise we'll see plenty of mistakes indicative of youth - fumbles and poor pass blocking chief among them.

At tight end, Riar Geer (pictured here presumably during arraignment) returns after some off-season legal difficulty resulting from after hours fisticuffs - the pass time of champions. Assuming he manages to stay out of the pokey, he'll be a force. He's big, he catches the ball well and he hits like a, well, Riar Geer!

At wide receiver, we get one last chance to watch Patrick Williams (is that really him in the photo - really?) attempt to live up to his potential. It's been a long 4 years with this kid who seems like he should be all world, but just never has gotten there - in his wake are dropped passes and broken hearts. Make it right this year, Pat! Joining the senior are a list of freshmen and sophomores as long as your arm. Ahh, youth. As thrilling as they are exasperating.

Speaking of youth - again - the O-line is anchored by one senior surrounded by freshmen and sophomores. But this line, young though it may be, is absolutely gargantuan. Each man tops 300 pounds - something no other Buff line has boasted. Senior Daniel Sanders (pictured making a statement for inclusion in the All Hair-merican Team), who I hope to Buddha has been practicing his shotgun snaps 8 hours daily in the off-season, is a good leader for this crew. Super soph Ryan Miller will man one tackle while 6-9 converted TE Nate Solder will man the other. They are young but the line will be the strength of this team. But how will little Cody see over or around these big fellas?


In summary, the offense will be young and... good! Balanced attack, no-huddle outfit with playmakers doing what they do. Yay, offense!! But can their defensive counterparts hold up their end of the bargain? Stay tuned, Buff junkies...

CU Practice Field - Where ACLs go to rupture

Hi Friends,

Welcome to another exciting season of College Football. I apologize for lack of blogging over the past few months. Let it be known that, though I was not writing, the Buffs never left my mind. Now, just 17 days from game 1 of the 2008 season, I'm back and bloggier than ever!

Topic 1: Knees and the men who destroy them.


So in the course of about 1 week of fall camp not 1, not 2 but 3(!!) ACLs have been torn thereby ending the seasons of the Buffs attached to them. Uggh!



These *ahem* handsome gentlmen are Junior defensive end Drew Hudgins, Freshman guard Mike Iltis and highly touted true freshman linebacker Jon Major. All have suffered the dreaded non-contact, knee-tastrophy. Hay caramba...

Karma - I'm keeping score and you owe me exactly one improbably upset over an imposing football club from the eastern timezone. Yours truly, Buffalover.

Stuff Silver & Gold people like

The brilliant college football blog, Every Day Should be Saturday, is helping to pass the off season by executing some well penned rip offs of the also brilliant and hauntingly accurate blog, Stuff White People Like. Editions so far include:

• Stuff Orange & Blue People Like (Florida)
• Stuff Black & Gold People Like (Iowa)
• Stuff Maize & Blue People Like (Michigan)
• Stuff Orange & White People Like (Tennessee)
• Stuff Orange & Green People Like (Miami)
• Stuff Red & Black People Like (Georgia)

So in the spirit of passing time and proactively poking fun at Buff fans, please sit back, take a grain of salt and enjoy Stuff Silver & Gold People Like:

(Of course, I don't have to tell you that in fact the University of Colorado official colors are Silver & Gold, not Black & Gold. Yet, Silver & Gold uniforms were outlawed in the mid 1920's when opponents complained that they were too shiny. However, the Glee Club declared them, "fabulous!".)

Thing 1 - Subtle Condescendance:
Look, we don't mean to be snooty or in your face. It's just that we deeply believe that we are better than you. From our incomparably beautiful campus to our Nobel laureates, astronauts and Supreme Court Justices. Sure, your team may in fact clobber us on the field, but we still walk out of the the stadium with a quiet confidence of superiority. We don't hate you... it's just that we think it's tragic that you aren't as casually cool as we are. In our minds, we're the Mac guy and your the PC guy. Keep trying, sport. And good luck!

Thing 2 - Tardiness:
Yes, we're well aware of the published kick-off time and we do know that they'll start without us. That's cool, we'll get there eventually - probably by the start of the second quarter. You know, we were up kind of late last night. And we're currently in pursuit of our perfect game buzz. Sure, anyone can get a buzz on quickly and I'm sure our Big XII brethren all make their kickoffs on time. But frankly, we're just a tad too cool for that (see Thing 1).

Thing 3 - "Other Activities":
OK, so it's true that we frequently do not sell out our entire 53K seat stadium. You think this is lame, of course. But, bro, you just don't understand. In Colorado, we have so many "other activities" that compete for the attention of thinking sports lovers like ourselves. Why there's hiking, cycling and kayaking. Perhaps it's opening weekend for the ski resorts. Rockies in the World Series (!?), Concert at Red Rocks, factory sale at Pearl Izumi, Dali Lama is in town, etc. Don't get us wrong, we love our college football, it's just that we (unlike you) have so many awesome choices spread before us on a given Fall Saturday, it's just not fair (see Thing 1)!

Thing 4 - The World's Toughest Schedule:
While your team is scheduling every directional school nobody has ever heard of, the Buffs seek out the most horrifying of opponents to stock our non-conference schedule. We say "bring it!" to the likes of Florida State, West Virginia, Arizona State, USC, Miami, Michigan and the like. This is what we do. It's who we are. Don't bring your "logic" of scheduling winnable games to ensure that you get to a bowl of some sort. We laugh at your logic and ask you to punch us directly in the face ("Owwww! Thank you!"). Of course it's not just our inherent bravery that causes us to do this. It's the fact that our fans may not come to the games if we don't schedule quality opponents (see Thing 3). Also, we tried scheduling a patsy a couple of years back. One humiliating loss to I-AA Montana State Bobcats later and, frankly, we don't see what you all like so much about scheduling patsies.


Thing 5 - Rushing the Field:
Ahhh yes, rushing the field. The spontaneous celebratory event that best demonstrates the spirit of collegiate athletics. The sheer unpolluted joy of an improbable victory culminates in the simultaneous spilling of humanity onto the playing surface to hug the heroes and tear down their goal posts. The mere mention of it causes tears to well in the eyes of any alum of any school. At CU, however, recent hard times have had the effect of elevating damned near any victory into the mass celebration that is the storming of the field. You may think us ridiculous and in fact stupid for such silly displays of emotion. And you may have a point there...

Thing 6 - Pot:
Holy hell, Silver & Gold people love pot. Rocky Mountain High, ya damnnnned right. Sure, affection for the spleaf may not be unique to CU folk but I dare say our kind is on a whole different level (see Thing 1). Please, your little crush on gange is cute and innocent compared to our obsessive, stalker style love affair with the Maui Zowie. You see it's organic and we hippies love organic crap. "What do you mean it was grown in someone's basement hopped up on Miracle Grow, gimmee that damn you!" To celebrate our iconic herb, we hold a now famous celebration at 4:20 on 4/20 each year. (For the record, Buffalover does not himself indulge in the Kind but loves and supports his high-ass compatriots. Mom, really, I'm just high on life!)

We're gonna need more handlers...

Ralphie V's spring game debut...

Baby Buffs

Yes indeed there is much to discuss. Hawk and his staff have done us proud and landed a super shiny, new recruiting class.

The marquee member of this class is, of course, Darrell Scott - #1 rated running back in all the land. But "Great Scott!" as he shall be known is just one of many talented and, clearly, intellectually superior gentlemen who are soon to join our loving family. Joining Scott at running back is a second highly rated running back by the name of Ray "Of Sunshine" Polk. When considering these two speedy ball carriers, one cannot help but remember another talented pair who shared the rock and ran rough shod on the opposition. Could Scott and Polk be the second coming of Brown and Purify? The phrase "hey diddle, diddle, we're comin' up the middle!" comes to mind...

This class has a trio of highly rated offensive linemen (big uglies) who will do the Lord's work in the trenches. Ryan Dannewitz, Bryce Givens "'em hell" and Max Tuioti-Mariner will soon be terrorizing Big XII defenses and opening holes for the afore mentioned pair of RBs.

Key to a strong running and passing game is the position of tight end and the Buffs brought at least two on board. Tall, fleet and nasty is the theme anchored by the "fightin' Ryans" - Ryan Deehan and Ryan Wallace.

Other offensive contributors are too numerous to mention but be sure that we are in good hands for the foreseeable future.

On the defensive side, we landed several young gents to assist at DT and DB adding much need talent at these posts. But clearly the position of which to take note is linebacker where a terrifying group of slobberknockers signed up to abuse opposing offenses for years to come. Lynn "Crack" Katoa joins Jon Major, Shaun Mohler and Doug Rippy "yo head off!" in a linebacker gathering perhaps not equaled since the days of Alfred Williams and Kanavis McGhee.

Also in the group is a kicker from Idaho, Jameson Davis, who will aspire to carry on the great Colorado tradition.

Of course none of these kids have yet to play a down for the Buffs so celebration is a bit premature. However, I wish to say unabashedly that I love these kids. You see, this is the difference between college sports and those at any other level. In college, each athlete chooses where he will play. He makes a conscious decision to become a part of a particular family. Scott, Katoa and the rest of this bunch have just informed us that they wish to be a part of our precious family. And for that I thank them, welcome them and, yes, love them.

Go Buffs!