Crazy? Crazy like a Hawk!

If you are a student of the ancient art of combat, as I am, you know that there are but two over arching heuristics that should always guide you on the the field of battle:

1) Never bring a knife to a gun fight
2) Never fight an insane person

These guiding principles create a conundrum for both Missouri Coach Gary Pinkel and CU Coach Dan Hawkins this week.

You see, Hawkins brings a clearly outmatched team to Columbia, Missouri this weekend to face the fearsome (if somewhat blemished) Mizzou Tigers. The offensive weapons presented by MU are as terrifying of a grouping as I have seen in the Big XII North in recent memory. Chase Daniel, Jeremy Maclin, Chase Coffman are just a few of the awe inspiring athletes who aim to batter our Buffs. All respect to the Tigers - they are indeed bringing a gun to this fight. The Buffs, sadly, bring a knife.

On the other hand, that knife will be wielded by a certifiably insane man, our beloved Dan Hawkins. This is the man who just last week baffled the Kansas State coaching staff by randomly inserting a previously unknown, redshirting, 5th string quarterback Tyler Hansen into the game and asking him to run around like a chimp on meth. This crazy "strategy" actually worked, and the Buffs pulled off a weird win. If you are Gary Pinkel tonight, you are lying awake in bed wondering what ridiculous move that crackpot Hawkins will pull this week... equipment manager sent in to kick field goals, Cody at linebacker, the swinging gate formation, fumblruski, punt on 3rd down?

With these factors at play, I don't think anyone can predict just what will happen on Saturday in Columbia. We'll just have to tune in and find out what sort of madness the night has in store for us.

In completely irrelevant and unrelated news, Chase Daniel eats boogers: