 |
| I know that dude! |
Hey bros. Don't. Panic.
I know, I know. The Buffs are winless in the Bienembree Era.
Dude, I'm telling you, the new coaches are just getting their feet under them. It's like in game 1, they had no feet under them, right? But in game two, they had 1 foot under them. You get where this is going?
Check it, bro - I'm here to tell you. Seriously. I can see the future. In game three, these coaches will have TWO feet under them. See - first 0, then 1, then 2.
That's called "extrapolation". It's science!
[laughs and coughs]
That's right, man. And I got more of that ex-trap-o-lation for yo ass. Check these stats from the first two games...
Hawai'i
|
Cal
| CSU
(extrapolation)
|
|
|---|---|---|---|
CU sacks allowed
|
7
|
0
|
-7
|
Wait, what?? You can't have negative seven sacks, man... Bad example.
OK, OK. Try this one...
Hawai'i
|
Cal
|
CSU
(extrapolation)
| |
|---|---|---|---|
CU points allowed
|
34
|
36
|
38
|
So the Buffs will give up 38 points to the Rambos. I know, sounds bad. Sounds like a lot point-oes on the score board, no?
Ha! Don't worry bro, we got you covered...
Hawai'i
|
Cal
|
CSU
(extrapolation)
| |
|---|---|---|---|
CU points scored
|
17
|
33
|
64!
|
Yeaaah! Buffs hang 64 on the Ram-dogs. Hey-ohh!
 |
| Buh-bye |
Hawai'i
|
Cal
|
CSU
(extrapolation)
| |
|---|---|---|---|
P-Rich receptions
|
3
|
11
|
40!
|
P-Rich yards
|
49
|
284
|
1646!
|
Ah, damn, man. P-Rich goes off for 1646 yards! Hey, it's math broseph. You can't deny MATH!
But hold-up, hold-up. I'm gonna level with you right now. The Buffs, they still got issues. The fuck is up with the penalties, man???
But look, son, you gotta live with that stink. Sure the left guard, tight end or slot back is going to line up wrong, have an illegal procedure, unsportsmanlike conduct. Like every other play. You got to roll with that, bro. That's the hair in the burrito, boss. You still like the burrito - that's a damn delicious burrito. But the hair, it's nasty. Look, eat that hairy burrito and be a CHAMPION!
(The "hair" is the penalties... The "burrito" is victory. You got that, right? Cool.)
So in summary, Buffs win this hairy game big. The math proves it.
Go Buffs!
But hold-up, hold-up. I'm gonna level with you right now. The Buffs, they still got issues. The fuck is up with the penalties, man???
Hawai'i
|
Cal
|
CSU
(extrapolation)
| |
|---|---|---|---|
CU penalties
|
7
|
12
|
21
|
CU penalty yards
|
58
|
98
|
166
|
But look, son, you gotta live with that stink. Sure the left guard, tight end or slot back is going to line up wrong, have an illegal procedure, unsportsmanlike conduct. Like every other play. You got to roll with that, bro. That's the hair in the burrito, boss. You still like the burrito - that's a damn delicious burrito. But the hair, it's nasty. Look, eat that hairy burrito and be a CHAMPION!
(The "hair" is the penalties... The "burrito" is victory. You got that, right? Cool.)
So in summary, Buffs win this hairy game big. The math proves it.
Go Buffs!
No comments:
Post a Comment