Even a Sooner fan couldn't help but celebrate

As we all know, Buff Football has languished in mediocrity and controversy for quite some time. We'd hoped that the changing of the guard at CU would signal a new beginning. Of course at first, the new guard reaped a pitiful season of 2-10. But this season seemed to hold promise of a turn-around. First, an overtime victory over CSU. Next a squandered chance at a rode win at ASU. Then a close, but not really close loss to FSU. Then at last the pieces began to come together with a blowout win over Miami of Ohio. And finally, finally... a huge win over arguably the best team in all the land, the Oklahoma Sooners. Mere words cannot describe the significance of such a win. No, not words but a feeling. It was palpable. The victory signified nothing less than the rebirth of a great program, CU Buff Football is back.

So palpable in fact was the feeling that even a Sooner fan and proud alumnus was caught up in it. Yes our own dear Timolyn Esson who was as they say "Sooner born, Sooner bred and when she dies she'll be Sooner dead" was so caught in the moment of a great Buff rebirth that she stormed the field with thousands of other crazies! A Sooner celebrating the Buff upset.

Little did she know that we had planted a small video camera in her hat that day. Footage below...
Timolyn's helmut cam...

The Rebel Alliance vs. The Empire

FOTBs,

After a day of enjoying the rarely seen BLOWOUT win over the RedHawks, the joy quickly faded as the terrible specter of the Oklahoma Sooners loomed. Why oh why, Football Gods, must the buzz be so quickly and terrifyingly killed?! Why must the plucky upstart Buffs be subjected so soon to the heartless killing machine that is the Oklahoma Sooners? Those young Buffalo soldiers were just beginning to see sunlight after lo these many dark months. And now they are destined to suffer mightily under the boot heal of the enraged overlord that is Bob Stoops. Oh, why, why, why!!?!!

[ahem]

I interrupt this gnashing of teeth and shouting at the heavens to relay a bit of personal information which may strike you as a bit off topic but whose relevance will soon enough be evident.

As you know, I'm a geek. I studied engineering and have made a career in the world of software. And not the cool kind of software either like the kind that plays music, edits photos or simulates flying a fighter jet. No I make software that other geeks use to make other, only slightly less boring software. So I'm a deep, undeniably nerdy geek dork. You already knew that. But what you didn't know will shock you to your very core and leave you questioning everything that you thought you knew about nerdy geek dorks such as myself.

I'm not a fan of Star Wars.

[pause while you pick yourself up off the floor, stumble to the sink to splash some cold water on your face, return to computer]

It's true. I saw that one episode that came out in 1976. It was OK. I think I even saw another one years later but I don't know which one it was. Honestly, I don't even know how many episodes there are. And I don't care. I'm just not into Star Wars. Please don't tell my colleagues. This secret has been well kept for years. I'm sure that if ever I am outed, I will immediately and irreparably lose any nerdy geek dork cred that I may have. I'll be cast out of the nerdy geek dork clan forever. Not suitable for the mainstream, non-geek crowd I will be destined to walk alone in this world. A man without a country...

I disclose this bit of embarrassing information as a prelude and an apology for the post that I am about to write (yes, we'll get rolling here in just a minute, football fans). Though I know precious little about the Star Wars franchise, I do recall the general gist of the original 1976 offering and I'm about to evoke that plot as I analyze this week's Buffs-Sooners match-up. I'm bound to get some facts wrong but forgive me for I am an incomplete geek.

Here goes:

Imagine the characters...

Darth Vader = Bob Stoops
More machine than man, powerful, ruthless, widely feared, unlovable, visor-wearer, evil genius, intergalactic asshole.



Storm Troopers = Sooner players of any generation
Devoted followers of despotic Vader/Stoops, voracious killers, clone-like (if one goes down another appears who looks and performs just like the last), efficient, unfeeling, intimidating, wearers of cod-pieces.



Obi-Wan Kenobi = Dan Hawkins
Zen-like philosopher, gentle demeanor, wielder of sabers, believer in the Force, speaker of cool-sounding but head-scratching sound bites.



Princess Leia = Mike Bohn
Beloved, decisive leader of the Rebel Alliance, good-looking, smooth, strong yet feminine.




Luke Skywalker = Cody Hawkins
Goofy, inexperienced country boy, fearless, cock-sure, loves old Obi-Wan/Dan but thinks he's slightly insane, short, chicks don't take him seriously.




Han Solo = Jordon Dizon
Swash-buckling veteran of many battles, possessor of scars, wily, natural leader, chicks dig him, hangs out with large hairy guys.



Chewbacca = Michael Sipili
Immense, fur covered warrior of great strength and loyalty, known to act on instinct rather than considering consequences, currently suspended.



Rebel Alliance = 2007 Buff Team
Rag-tag assembly of earnest and lovable misfits, fearless in the face of overwhelming odds, scrappy, cunning, occasionally smelly.




Death Star = 2007 Sooner Team
Greatest killing machine ever built, able to annihilate entire worlds in an instant, technically superior to all other stars in every way, totally unassailable - or is it...?


[opening credits]
In a galaxy not far away...

[scene 1]
Mike Bohn: "Help us, Dan Hawkins, you are our only hope..."
Dan Hawkins: "An archer seeks not the target but to become the bow."
Mike Bohn: "You know what, just seek the target!"
Dan Hawkins: "Got it, chief!"

[scene 2]
Cody Hawkins: "When am I gonna get some real excitement?"
Dan Hawkins: "As soon as you learn to use the Force, my son."
Cody Hawkins: "If by "Force" you mean "Statue of Liberty", roger that oh wise one!"

[scene 3]
Dan Hawkins: "These are not the 'roids you're looking for."
Sooner Players: "These are not the 'roids we're looking for."

[scene 4]
(Bar room full of strange, menacing creatures drinking bubbling blue grog. One 3-eyed goon looks sideways at Dizon. Sipili beats the living crap out of said goon.)

[scene 5]
Bob Stoops: "Dark Emperor, I'd like to demonstrate the power of my new weapon, the 2007 Oklahoma Sooners."
Dark Emperor: "How will you demonstrate it, Lord Stoops?"
Bob Stoops: "See that hideously colored planet over there, I think it's called planet Miami of the Florida Galaxy? Watch this!"
(presses button, Miami is disintegrated in one spectacular ball of fire)
Elsewhere, Dan Hawkins: "I feel a great disturbance in the Force."

[scene 6]
Cody Hawkins: "Jordon, let me hang out with you."
Jordon Dizon: "Listen kid, I don't have time to babysit you."
Cody Hawkins: "But I could help fly this old junker."
Jordon Dizon: "Old junker!? I'll have you know that this 'old junker' once won a National Championship!"
Cody Hawkins: "Yeah? In which eon?"
Jordon Dizon: "Smartass! You're so lucky Sipili isn't here right now."

[scene 7]
(Buff Team in small skirmish with the forces of Miami of the Ohio Galaxy. Young Cody shows remarkable skill at times, only occasionally throwing a pick.)
Dan Hawkins: "Use the Force my son."
Cody Hawkins: "What does that even mean!? And why do I have to wear this blindfold anyway?"

[scene 8]
Dan Hawkins: "The Sooner Empire seeks to destroy our world. Our team is the last defense of the great Colorado way. We cannot fail for our mission is righteous. As the great Japanese philosopher once said..."
Jordon Dizon to Cody: "Dude, how long is this guy going to prattle on, it's almost kickoff?"
Cody Hawkins: "Yeah, screw this. Let's get into this battle. This cooky bastard will still be here yammering away when we get back."


[scene 9]
(Jordon and Cody deftly driving their respective vehicles through fierce enemy fire. They take hit after hit but somehow survive the battle coming closer to the goal. As time expires, Cody (while literally on fire) delivers one last shot which, against all odds, finds it's target. KABOOM! The Sooner Death Star is destroyed in one fiery explosion. Moments later, Lord Stoops is seen jettisoning out into space while cursing and throwing his visor.)
Bob Stoops (shaking fist): "I'll get you yet, Hawkinsssssssssssss...."

[scene 10]
(Jubilant, victorious Buffs return the locker room to find Dan Hawkins still expounding on the benefits of yoga, a healthy diet and the writings of the late President William Taft.)
Jordon Dizon: "Is he always like this?"
Cody Hawkins: " 'Fraid so."
Jordon Dizon, shaking head: "Anyway... Cody, you can be my wingman anytime!"
Cody Hawkins: "Wrong cinematic metaphor, buddy. We'll evoke Top Gun next week."

[roll credits]

RedHawks review

BLOWOUT.

Man, it seems like a hundred years since we were on the sunny side of one of those. I'm gonna savor it. It matters not even who the opponent was because in the recent era, the Buffs trials and travails have brought losses to even the smallest, most downtrodden schools. So a victory is a VICTORY and a blowout is a BLOWOUT. Boo-yaw!

I'd hoped to finally see a complete effort, a complete game from the Buffs and I think I did. The offense went for 636 yards while reinvigorating the rushing game at 359 yards. That 636 is the most we've gained in a game this decade. And the defense was equally as dominant holding the RedHawks to just 139 total offense yards and an amazing 3-14 3rd down conversions and of course a sweet, sweet shutout. Field goal kicking and punting was rarely or never seen because we were in the endzone so much, you see. Hell and yeah, y'all.

And while the Buffs were cruising to a BLOWOUT victory, over in Lincoln the Corn were struggling for dear life with Miami's MAC brother Ball State. Thanks to a dropped pass and a missed field goal by the Cardinals, NU prevailed 41-40. But let's be clear, the Fuskers are not a good team and apparently should have lost that contest. The venerable (insert sarcasm here) "blackshirt" defense gave up 40 points and 610 yards to BALL STATE. Incidentally, Ball State lost a little game 14-13 just 3 weeks ago to, you guessed it, Miami of Ohio. BAM! So by the transitive properties of college football, the Buffs beat Nebraska last Saturday 42-0. Celebrate!

Get that MofO!

Friends of the Buffaloes,

After enduring oddly timed games thus far this season (10 AM, 8 PM, 8 PM), we finally get a normally scheduled game. As the Creator of the game (Joe Paterno) intended, college football should be played at 1:30 PM on a Saturday. One should not argue with the Creator.

This week, the Buffs have the honor of hosting the Miami of Ohio (MofO) Redhawks. After taking on the likes of CSU, ASU and FSU in successive weeks some might think that MofO is a relatively easy opponent. I have but two words for those people. Montana State. Henceforth, let us not utter those two words again. Ever.

This week, it's crucial for the Buffs to put together a complete effort, win the game and prove that they are ready to begin the grueling Big XII season. Not only must we produce an outstanding defensive effort as we did last week, we must discover a rushing game and kicking game. Furthermore, we must, must, must catch and snap the damned ball with competence. Must.

The Redhawks are a proud program. One of the top 20 Division I programs of all time, or so I'm told by the venerable Charles Johnson. Clearly they are not to be trifled with. As such, I plan to bring my A game this week and so should you, Buff faithful. The effort, as always, must begin with a spirited and flawless tailgate. Did I mention we get our 'gate on these days in the GOLD LOT!? The lovely Kiplynn and I will bring some tasty BBQ meats of one sort or another. The rest of you should bring accompanying dishes, beverages and a burning desire to knock that MofO the hell out! 'Gating begins at 11 AM.

CU Saturday!

Buffalover

Semi-holed

Hey, look over there! Nebraska and Notre Dame getting pummeled! Ha ha ha ha ha. Ooh my sides hurt from laughing. Because it's funny when the dirtbags get rolled, you see. Oh, good times...

What? What's that? The Buffs? Er, well, um... Not good. But, look, when you consider that those FSU guys were sooo much bigger and faster than us, a ten point loss is pretty good. High five! Anyone...

Alright, so here's the deal. We lost by 10 at home against Florida State. And sure, they may not be the 'Noles of old but they are still an awfully talented bunch. But the reality is that the final score does not indicate just how far off we were from beating those guys. FSU took control in the 1st quarter and we were playing catch up the rest of the way and couldn't get there.

A LARGE shout out of respect goes to the Buffs D, though. Those guys did a fantastic job. Consider this. The 'Noles went for only 221 total yards on the night, completed less than 50% of their passes, rushed as a team for less than 100 yards and (most impressively) were 1 for 13 on 3rd down conversions. And all of that while FSU was starting with excellent field position most of the night. That's some incredible defense by Dizon, Hypolite, Wheatley and crew. My heart swells with pride.

Offensively? Heart decidedly not swelling. Sure, they were improved over the ASU effort and that's a relief. However, the O never really got it going. We could not run the ball at all. The passing game showed signs of life at times but we still have this terrible, TERRIBLE tendency to drop balls (I'm looking at you, Patrick Williams, though you're not alone). Possibly an even worse offense is the propensity for poorly snapped balls. Daniel Sanders was wildly chucking that thing backwards at Cody all night. Three or four of those snaps wound up on the rug for big losses and it could have been eight or nine had not Cody done some remarkable fielding of poorly snapped balls. The kid deserves a golden glove or something. For the love of Bill McCartney, shotgun snapping should not be this kind of crapshoot, people!

[deep breath]

Special teams? Somewhere Mason Crosby and Jeremy Bloom weep silently. The field goal kicking and punt returning was, ahem, not superb. Punting was pretty decent though. High five!

So here we sit 1-2. The team is good and exciting and I love them one and all. Yes, even you Patrick Williams, Daniel Sanders and Kevin Eberhart - you knuckleheads. Now take a lap and get your heads back in this thing. There's a lot of football left to be played and we yield to no team, regardless of their obvious superiority!

And Nebraska and Notre Dame got their butts kicked - BIG HIGH FIVE!!!

Midnight in the garden of Good vs. Evil

Friends of the Buffaloes,

So here we are. Standing at 1-1, approaching game 3. And who comes to town for the pivotal contest but the tradition-rich yet tarnished Seminoles of Florida State. A Buffs-Noles match-up tends to get folks excited. Adding fuel to that excitement inferno is the fact that it's the first Folsom Field game of the season and it is at night.

That's right, the game begins at 8 PM MST. Just picture the scene...


[Open Scene]

Geeserly octogenarian legend Bobby Bowden waddles into Folsom Field 2-3 hours after his east coast bedtime. His players, warming up, take unsatisfying gulps of thin mountain air. "Need (gasp) oxygen (gasp) for the (gasp) love (gasp) of God... [blacking out]." Thousands of dangerously inebriated fans create a palpable buzz of anticipation as a a cloud of spleef smoke rolls down from the student section. The PA system emits a powerful voice proclaiming, "Heeeeere comes Ralphie!!!!" Noles turn in the direction of a curious rumbling noise, "Dear God (gasp) what is that (gasp) creature AIGHHH! [faint]"

And thus goes 4 quarters of football. Visiting Floridian players disoriented by dry air and lack of oxygen, haunted by the image of the terrifying mangy demonic creature seen barreling across the field prior to kickoff make gaff after hilarious gaff as their snoozy coach repeatedly needs to be awakened in order to be consulted about who he'd like to insert at QB while Drew Weatherford is being administered smelling salts under an oxygen mask.

It seems like a dream. Like a 4 quarter nightmare full of unfamiliar faces, angry Polynesians dressed in black, midget quarterbacks, naturally beautiful yet unattainable co-eds, fake punts, tailback direct snaps, flea flickers... "I want to wake up, I want to wake up!" cries a voice. "Snap out of it, Coach Bowden, you are awake. The game ended 2 hours ago, it's 2 AM. You really should get a gurney for that Weatherford kid over there. We need to clean the stadium and replace the goal posts. Travel safe now, pops."

[End Scene]

Eh, could happen.

Certainly what will happen is tailgating. And, friends, we have upped the ante. Two words - GOLD LOT. That's right, we now reside in the penultimate location for top-shelf tailgating. The creme de la creme of cocktail collaboration. You will know us by our beaming smiles and glistening, aromatic bratwurst. And the proud flag pole supporting a Buff flag and windsock. 'Gating begins at 5:00 PM.

CU Saturday!

So.... that happened...

Um, yeah. It seems that the rebuilding project is yet a work in progress. The Buffs traveled to the desert Saturday and received a sound beating at the hands of ASU. The Buffs had plenty of chances and lucky breaks early but they could not mount any real offensive firepower while the defense couldn't slow the Sun Devil offense.

The worst part of it was that suddenly the CU receivers developed an horrendous case of the dropsies. Patrick Williams who a week ago looked to have corrected his pass catching deficiencies reverted to the old, bad, ball aversive tendencies. Good Patrick - please come back. Bad Patrick - begone inept demon whose ball dropping causes me to die a little with each bumbling miscue.

Cody looked more like a freshman this week than last. He had some moments when he had thrilling, needle-threading deep strikes to stone handed receivers. But at other times, he made mistakes and ugly, stinking throws. So I'm still on the bandwagon and I grant him the right to play like a freshman because, hey, he's a freshman.

Also the defense which was good early, turned into a tackle-missing, soft-zone playing girlified mamsie pamsie unit once Rudy Carpenter heated up. This must be corrected, kids.

So to review: Saturday's Buff performance - Not Good. My love for same Buffs - un-dieing.

Standin' in the middle of the desert waitin' for my ship to come in...

The currently undefeated Buffs travel this week to Tempe, Arizona to face the blistering Sun Devils of ASU. Fortunately, it will be a night game so temperatures are expected to be in the low 100s. Que calor!

This year's ASU team features new head coach/gun-toting-mercenary Dennis Erickson who at this very moment is likely drunkenly breaking state, federal or NCAA laws. Dennis has taken his fun loving, fast living, morality skirting ways all over this great land from the tropics of southern Florida to the redwood forests of the northwest. He'll lead the Sun Devils to some crazy, gunslinging, statistic popping successes and fabulous failures before one day leaving town for the next sexy opportunity and just ahead of the arresting authorities. A true beacon of offense and hedonism.

This game will be a serious test for the Buffs. They must play much better than they did against CSU to have a chance. Particularly, the defense must step up. Pass defense has been our weakness over the past year and the Devils are going to chuck it around some. Prepare for a track meet. Offensively, the Buffs will likely still be without the 3 best players in Hugh Charles, Bernard Jackson and Josh Smith. So let's hope the Cody/Scotty show can continue its little parade.

A win here would be huge. Let's take it to the felonious one!

Rocky Mountain Throw-down, indeed

Oh, Rammies, I can’t stay mad at you. I just admire the heck out of how those kids play against the Buffs. They came out Saturday and gave us everything they had. The Buffs did likewise and the result was a college football classic. Truly one of the most fun games I’ve attended. Both crowds were enthusiastic and on their feet nearly the entire game. The score remained close throughout and there was plenty of gutsy play calling. Hamid, not always known as the most gracious of winners, said it best, “It’s a shame that somebody had to lose that game”. Indeed.

But the Buffs came out on top of this one and in thrilling manner. Here’s my review…

Offense:

OK, I just bought a ticket on the Cody/Scotty bandwagon. Cody’s height did come into play as 3 balls got tipped at the line of scrimmage. But otherwise, the kid impressed the hell out of me. That was one high pressure situation and Cody never flinched. He typically delivered the ball on the money and he was clearly a very effective leader. Considering this was his first snap in college, he hasn’t played an actual game in 1.5 years, the team is digging out of a big hole and he’s under the microscope for being the coach’s kid… he really was fantastic. Meanwhile Scotty McKnight got open and caught everything thrown his way. The redshirt freshman walk-on was the leading receiver in the game on either side of the ball. Hugh got injured in the first drive but another redshirt freshman, Demitrius Sumler, filled in admirably. Also, the TEs made strong contributions, as expected. And then there was the play calling. Certainly the most creative and sometimes cooky game plan we’ve seen in these parts in a long, long time. That kind of stuff will win us some games and it will lose us some games but we will never be predictable again…

One more note. The very effective, well balanced offense that we saw Saturday was missing arguably its 3 best players in Hugh Charles, Josh Smith and Bernard Jackson. When those guys are on the field, we are going to be quite dangerous.


Defense:

The defense mightily struggled for the first 2 and a half quarters. CSU was moving the ball very effectively, particularly on 3rd down. Considering that this unit was the strength of last year’s team, their failures were shocking and disheartening. But down by 11 in the middle of the 3rd, the D stepped up and shut down CSU’s scoring allowing the offense to punch it’s way back into it and tie up the score to go into overtime. In overtime the D created it’s most pivotal play when T-Wheat intercepted a pass in the end zone to set the stage for the Buff victory. Let’s hope that the D thatfinished the game Saturday is the one we’ll see the rest of the season.

Also, my huge man crush of the week goes out to Jordan Dizon who tallied 20 tackes, 15 unassisted. Day-um!

Special teams:

Other than place kicking, this unit was pretty bad last year. Well, fear not, special teams should be a strength once again for the Buffs. The punting was solid, the place kicking was accurate and the returns were very good.


Overall grade:

Considering the importance of this game, the number of underclassmen starting and the venue, I give the Buffs an A.