So here we are. Standing at 1-1, approaching game 3. And who comes to town for the pivotal contest but the tradition-rich yet tarnished Seminoles of Florida State. A Buffs-Noles match-up tends to get folks excited. Adding fuel to that excitement inferno is the fact that it's the first Folsom Field game of the season and it is at night.
That's right, the game begins at 8 PM MST. Just picture the scene...
[Open Scene]
Geeserly octogenarian legend Bobby Bowden waddles into Folsom Field 2-3 hours after his east coast bedtime. His players, warming up, take unsatisfying gulps of thin mountain air. "Need (gasp) oxygen (gasp) for the (gasp) love (gasp) of God... [blacking out]." Thousands of dangerously inebriated fans create a palpable buzz of anticipation as a a cloud of spleef smoke rolls down from the student section. The PA system emits a powerful voice proclaiming, "Heeeeere comes Ralphie!!!!" Noles turn in the direction of a curious rumbling noise, "Dear God (gasp) what is that (gasp) creature AIGHHH! [faint]"
And thus goes 4 quarters of football. Visiting Floridian players disoriented by dry air and lack of oxygen, haunted by the image of the terrifying mangy demonic creature seen barreling across the field prior to kickoff make gaff after hilarious gaff as their snoozy coach repeatedly needs to be awakened in order to be consulted about who he'd like to insert at QB while Drew Weatherford is being administered smelling salts under an oxygen mask.
It seems like a dream. Like a 4 quarter nightmare full of unfamiliar faces, angry Polynesians dressed in black, midget quarterbacks, naturally beautiful yet unattainable co-eds, fake punts, tailback direct snaps, flea flickers... "I want to wake up, I want to wake up!" cries a voice. "Snap out of it, Coach Bowden, you are awake. The game ended 2 hours ago, it's 2 AM. You really should get a gurney for that Weatherford kid over there. We need to clean the stadium and replace the goal posts. Travel safe now, pops."
[End Scene]
Eh, could happen.
Certainly what will happen is tailgating. And, friends, we have upped the ante. Two words - GOLD LOT. That's right, we now reside in the penultimate location for top-shelf tailgating. The creme de la creme of cocktail collaboration. You will know us by our beaming smiles and glistening, aromatic bratwurst. And the proud flag pole supporting a Buff flag and windsock. 'Gating begins at 5:00 PM.
CU Saturday!
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