Big Red is Dead

Oh the drama!

The build up to the CU/NU game had that palpable feel of a defining moment for one team or the other. Could Colorado cap a turn-around season with a win over a hated rival while becoming bowl eligible? Could Nebraska build on the momentum of their blowout KSU victory and save their coach's job?

A crisp, cold morning greeted nervous revelers as they clomped through frozen parking lots nursing turkey hang-overs, beer in hand. Ralphie's fiery breath could be seen in enormous clouds of steam escaping her mighty nostrils. The clapping of tens of thousands of glove covered hands created a distinctive sound not unlike the thundering hooves of a heard of angry Buffaloes...

The valiant seniors were honored before the kickoff. A brave and earnest crew that had endured much and served well. All they desired in this world was one more victory over the Red Menace. Wiley veterans willing to sacrifice one more time in a battle of good versus evil.

Kickoff! The ball sails through the frigid air signifying the commencement of battle. Pads pop, steam rises from helmets, crazed fans cheer wildly.

The Buffs strike first. Behind a surging o-line and a bit of mis-direction, CU moves the ball well throughout the opening period possessing a lead of 10 late in the 1st quarter.

But then the fearsome Nebraska offense comes alive and begins to gobble up great swaths of yardage completing brilliant passes to large and burly receivers. Oh no, this can't happen! The Buffs trail by 11 at the half.

A solemn and chilly halftime witnesses Buff fans stifling the terror that stirs deep in their hearts. The prospect of a loss to the Corn is real yet unthinkable. This is not the way it is supposed to end...

But deep inside the home locker room a mighty force swells. The Buffs hatch brilliant defensive schemes aimed at forcing turnovers. They swear to strike hard and often. Meanwhile the offense collects themselves and vows to embody the smash-mouth style of play that is their true heritage. This is an army that will not be turned back!

Commence the second half. The visitors are treated in a most inhospitable manner. The black clad hosts deliver hits like mighty hammers. Interceptions rain down like justice! Punts are blocked by soaring Buffaloes possessed by the spirit of their victorious forefathers. Pancake blocks are delivered without mercy. Tailbacks bowl over would-be tacklers twice their size. Crushing tackles are delivered with unholy ferocity! In all, the Buffalo heroes place 65 on the scoreboard and a stake in the cold heart of the Cornhuskers.

On this day, victory and justice would not be denied the Buffaloes. On this day a statement is made which echoes from sea to shining sea. And that statement is - the Corndevils are dead. After endless years of pillaging and raping the good people of the college football countryside, the Red Scourge has been decisively put into their grave. And upon that grave we dance!

Must beat Huskers

It all comes down to this.

The Buffs and the Huskers in one of the most bizarre seasons in history come into the final game both sporting identical records - 5 wins, 6 losses. In addition to the normal rival-rific intensity and innate hatred comes the specter of bowl eligibility. He who wins gets it, he losses does not.

The Buffs have had a predictably inconsistent year in phase 2 of the the rebuilding effort. The Corn meanwhile have undergone a meltdown of biblical proportions in which they have given up more points in one season then they had in some previous decades. Along the way they have fired their Athletic Director and are on the eve of whacking their head coach. It's a total train wreck that translates into pure, sweet joy in the eyes of Buffs! Hooray karma!

But wait. What? Wouldn't you know it! Just as the Buffs are set to deal the final death blow onto a much deserved gasping, bleeding, whithering team... the Nebrass-holes rise up and get well! Real well to the tune of a 73-31 victory over K-State (who incidentally beat the Buffs by 20 earlier this year). Damn you, karma, don't quit on us now!

In all seriousness, friends, we badly need to win this game. We need it to feel the progress of a .500 season. We need it to get to a bowl, however pedestrian, to get extra practice for this young team. We need it to send heroic seniors such as Dizon, Charles, Walters and Wheatley out on a high note. But most of all we need it to crush the spirit of the Fuskers who have wrought unspeakable acts upon the Buffs and their Big 8/12 brethren for decades. We need it to strike a final blow for justice and goodness. When you see the Great Satan knocked to the floor you do not let him get up again. We must do this for the children lest another generation live through the tyranny of Cornhusker competence. Kill, kill, KILL!!!!!

(Deep breath)

So, Friends of the Buffaloes, come out to dear old CU this Friday, bundle up, and bring your shoutin' voice & your dancin' shoes. For we shall put the Corndogs in their grave once and for all. And upon that grave we shall dance!

GO BUFFS!!!!!

Final word on ISU game

The Big XII officiating coordinator this week explained the two controversial calls at the end of the ISU-CU game that essentially prevented the game from going into overtime. The conference official is quoted below:

"The exception that is in there is to prevent a team that is wanting to run the clock out," Anderson said. "So if it becomes fourth down and the defense is going to get the ball, but rather than punting the ball they just line up in a scrimmage kick formation and intentionally let the clock run out. Because it was running, the rule says that you assess the penalty and then you wind the clock. That exception is in there so that a team is not allowed just to bleed the clock down."
"It's also at the referee's discretion because the opposite also holds true. If you have a team that doesn't want the clock to run but doesn't have any time outs, you don't allow them, in essence, to commit a foul thereby causing the clock to stop."

So the key point here is that the referee's decisions were not technically incorrect. HOWEVER the calls were discretionary meaning that they could have gone the other way and the refs could have done more to enable a surging team dealing with an expiring game clock to snap the ball when clearly they were lined up appropriately and ready to go. "At the referee's discretion" a 50 yard field goal and then a 55 yard field goal were wiped off the board. In SMQ's words this is "negation of accomplishment" and damned hard to swallow.

Forget that the Buffs shot themselves in the foot for the better part of the second half. The fact remains that they actually tied the game in heroic fashion and yet "at the referee's discretion" they were denied overtime. That's a pretty critical discretionary call, no?

So who exactly is this referee who made said discretionary call? Well, it's none other than a gentleman by the name of Clete Blakeman. While he's not refereeing Big XII football games, he's an Omaha attorney. Oh yeah, he is also a FORMER NEBRASKA CORNHUSKER QB. Who finds it shocking that a Cornhusker given the discretion to determine the outcome of a CU game would choose to feed the Buffs a big old crap sandwich? I can barely contain my astonishment...

So with that, my friends, I declare the commencement of the annual Nebraska Hate Week. Act accordingly.

Good God

Friends,

Look... I just... I don't know what to say. There are damned few things in this world that I really think that I "get". But college football is one of those things. Correction, WAS one of those things. Then 2007 rolled around and I don't know what to think. Kansas is 10-0 and #3 in the BCS. The esteemed ESPN College Game Day broadcasted this week from the campus of Williams College (Williamstown, MA - current home of our own Johnny and Chrissy Mac!) to cover the critical late season match-up of Williams-Amherst. The free-falling Huskers suddenly unleash hell and score 73 points on an allegedly good team. And the Buffs blow a 21 point lead but come back in the waning moments of a game at Iowa State to kick not one but TWO improbably long field goals in the final 3 seconds of the game only to have them both disallowed. What. The. Fuck?!

I'm going to need a good couple of days before I can even think about the upcoming finale of a game with a certain despised rival. So stay tuned for that.

In the mean time I think I'll teach myself Farsi. Or string theory. Or string theory in Farsi. Perhaps I have a glimmer of hope of understanding that. But college football 2007, forget about it.

Outstanding execution!

Friends,

It's a rare privilege to witness what I did on Saturday. A bold and well conceived game plan, crisp execution, high morale, teamwork, good communication, flawless hand-offs, gutting it out through injuries. Really an amazing performance and the adoring fans cheered, cheered and cheered some more!

Thank you Shannon (and Hamid!) for an amazing Lobsterfest 2007!

What? You thought I was talking about football? Holy cats. That's was horrendous! Possibly the worst I've seen. The Buffs exhibited the rarely seen trifecta of drowsiness, confusion and genuine dip-shitery! I'm just thankful that Bill McCartney wasn't alive to see this atrocity. What, he is!? Oh goddammit!


Don't get me wrong, I love these Buffs as much as I love my own children. But let's just say that a revision in the will is underway...

But back to the tailgate. Really possibly the best ever event and thank you again, Shannon (and Hamid!). A beautiful day, great food, birthdays were celebrated, friendships were rekindled, children were conceived (you know, possibly!) and one spectacular red-headed yoga instructor keg stand was executed. God bless America!

A Pig by any other name...

FOTBs,

Perusing this week's AP Top 5 reveals 3 teams that we've already played (Oklahoma, Arizona State, Kansas) as well as the one that we're about to play, Missouri. Who plays a tougher schedule than the Buffs? Nobody, citizens, nobody. Can we get to .500 versus the top ten? We're about to find out.

Ooh the Tigers are good this year. Offensively, actually, they are great. They have the nightmare combination of speed and size at wide receiver, quality at tailback and (worst of all) a QB that is a fantastic passer and a deadly runner. Oy Vey. The defense while not great is quite capable and has stepped up when needed. So how do you prepare for such an opponent? Well by making sport of their names, of course!

For starters, Mizzou has 3 guys on the team named Chase. Chase, the quintessential douche-baggy over privileged white kid name. Adding to this category are a guy name Brock, one Brendan, a Blake, Forrest and Dain. What is this - a Tommy Hilfiger ad? A day-time soap opera cast? Please.

Next, they have the "hilarious/illiterate mis-spelled" names. Jaysen and Kurtis. Moving on.

In the "apostrophe for no apparent reason category" - De'Vion and La'Roderick. How Ri'Diculous.

Then the "stolen from a famous person" names such as Elvis, Levi and Evander. What, no Madonna?

Also the "invented this name to sound like a badass" - Stryker. Wasn't that an '80s metal band. Actually, that one is pretty cool.

Additionally we have the head scratchers of "completely unknown (possibly sci-fi) origin" - Castine and Scipio.

Finally, "my extra special favorite football name of all times" - Pig Brown. Yes, Pig Brown is Mizzou's best defensive player who is sadly injured and unable to play this Saturday.

So there you have it. In all probability we'll lose to this team on Saturday, but we can hold our heads high knowing that we teased them well.

For those of you in the know and in the posse, you have one more lovely, delectable, savory, rich, red-ish (though not red!) reason to come up to old CU this Saturday:


CU Saturday!