The Rocky Mountain Hoe-down

Your season of discontent is about to end. Your off-season purgatory is mercifully terminating as you ascend to the heaven of weekly doses of college football. Glory be, let the games begin!

And who do we Buffaloes meet first but our kissing cousins from the North. Some call them the Colorado State University Rams. Others refer to them by their historical moniker, the Colorado A&M Aggies. Other known aliases include Colorado's Second University, CS Ewe, the Poudre Pirates, Larimer County Community College, Cow College, Dirt U, Fort Knockers, Scholars of Animal Husbandry... Where was I going with that? Oh yeah, the rivalry.

Yes, it is a rivalry. Even though CU has historically dominated the contest, the Rammies come loaded for bear every damned year. I respect them for this.

We love to razz them good naturedly. Not just because of their low paying jobs and their unattractive women but also because of their wardrobe. I mean, seriously. Guys who wear nearly thigh high boots with high heels and pointy toes while also adorning big garish hats have some not so well kept secrets in that closet. Then again, they say we're sissies because our boys shave our legs and wear bright colored lycra. To which I say... touché, Gomer, touché.

They hate us for being smarter, better looking and more charming. And for being arrogant. OK, we are a bit arrogant when it comes to CSU. For this I apologize even if I can't reform. Truly some of my favorite people on this planet are CSU alumni. I love them for their fun-loving, agrarian ways. They are the salt of the Earth. That is with the exception of Bradlee Van Pelt who is obviously an unredeemable prick.

The Lambs got the victory last year, part of a sad, sad season for CU. What will happen this year? No figgin' idea! CSU has lot's of experience. Offensively, the CSU QB Caleb Hanie surgically dismantled the CU defensive backfield last year even without the threat of a running game. This year slobber-knocker TB Kyle Bell returns from injury to balance Hanie's passing. This concerns me.

Then again, I believe the Buffs will bring a credible offense to this game (unlike last year). We too will be able to bring in balanced running and passing games. It may be unspectacular, but we should move the ball.

Regardless, both teams will come thirsty for blood. CU on a mission of redemption and CSU playing their Super Bowl. It will be fun. It will be college football!

And a damned early college football game at that. With the kick-off at Mile High scheduled for 10 AM, the tailgating activities will begin at 8 AM in lot D. Look for Hamid's impressive pole raised high above the parking lot. Also, there will be a big flag and windsock. (See what I did there, crotch humor!) We'll have the grill going cooking up some delicious parking lot breakfast treats for your hungry souls.

CU Saturday!