The time is drawing near. The off-season is coming to a close. College football reappears to the joy of its waiting disciples. The universe comes into alignment yet again after lo these many months. Kickoff!
Yes, friends, it's back. Football is back. The Buffs finally take the field yet again on an early fall Sunday (!) evening at Mile High Stadium. The Cow State Rams play their Super Bowl, as usual, at the beginning of the season. We've seen it year after year. The goats play their best game of the season against the Buffs. On paper it almost always should be a blow out, but in reality it is almost always a dog fight. Bring your lunch, boys, we're in for a slog.
And a night game, no less. That could mean one and only one thing - CSU riot, tear gas and Denver police finally using those shiny night sticks that went untested during the DNC. Hoo boy, when the bumpkins come to the big city mayhem ensues!
As far as the game goes, his year's contest is particularly compelling. You see the elders over at Corn & Sorghum University decided to run off a certain coach by the name of Sonny Lubick. The same Sonny Lubick who recorded more wins than any CSU coach in history, who turned the CU/CSU game into the legitimate rivalry that it is today and for whom the field at the CSU stadium is named. Strange. In his place is a first year head coach by the name of Steve Fairchild. Never heard of him.
So, frankly, I don't know what to expect. Sure, the Buffs should win by a mile. But this game never has gone as predicted and isn't likely to start now. Welcome, Steve Fairchild (if that's your real name), to the donnybrook that is the Rocky Mountain Showdown. Sunday night, we dine in Hell!
So now that Buffalover's insightful analysis has declared the 2008 Buff offense to be "good", let's quiet the celebration a bit and look honestly at our defense, shall we?
Defensive Line: The interior of this line is perhaps the best we've seen in a decade. George Hypolite (pictured) and Brandon Nicholas are seasoned, senior, nasty, mean, tenacious, fierce defensive linemen. They will clog up the middle, prevent the run and occupy several blockers. These big uglies are so beautiful to me. On one end, they are joined by Mo Lucas - the Patrick Williams of the defense. Mo has always had the look of a world beater but has simply never arrived. This is the year for him to catch fire and wreak havok. He's our greatest hope for creating the QB pressure that we so obviously lacked last year.
Linebackers: Let us all pause and thank Buddha for delivering to us the greatest linebacker coach in college football, Brian Cabral. This mustachioed magician has delivered another crop of outstanding 'backers. Though you can never, ever replace a guy like Jordan Dizon (pauses, sheds tear, thumps chest)... I tell you that the LB corp will be OK. Starting will be the trio of Jeff Smart, Marcus Burton and Brad Jones. There will be plenty of rotations though at these positions because the group is so deep. Michael Sipili (pictured), who returns after last year's suspension for after hours fisticuffs (the pass time of champions), will be a ferocious force. He is huge, fast and hits like a, well, Michael Sipili!
DBs: Now for the sobering part of the analysis. Terrence Wheatley is now gone, playing in the NFL (pauses, sheds tear, thumps chest)... In his place are two new cornerbacks both small, both untested. The well apostrophied Cha'pelle Brown joins Garner McKay as the two most likely to be blamed for losses. At safety are the experience duo of DJ Dykes (insert sophomoric joke here) and Ryan Walters (pictured). Walter is the leader of this misfit crew and he is a good man. He is a second generation Buff and someone who will positively destroy his own body in order to inflict pain on opposing receivers. I love that man and I wish him godspeed in his pain inflicting mission.
Summary: The good news is, we'll be great at stopping the run. The bad news is, we'll be poor at stopping the pass. That would be reasonably fantastic news if this was the Big 8 and the year was 1980. But alas it's the Big XII of 2008 and this conference flings the pig around a bit, no? So brace yourselves, brothers and sisters, we're in for a rocky ride.
Just as in the past two seasons, predicting the performance of the the 2008 Buff football team is a bit like predicting what a two year old might do with a box of crayons. He might scribble a picture of a dog on the dining room wall. He might re-create Salvador Dali's finest on canvas. But probably he'll just eat the crayons and later crap the bed (in technicolor). Ahh, the Buffs... Little scoundrels.
That said, here is my pre-season analysis of our beloved brothers in black, beginning with the offense.
This year's group will feature a no huddle attack run primarily out of the shotgun. Cody Hawkins (the scamp pictured here) will be the starter at QB and, despite his diminutive stature, will lead the team well and perform admirably. That is, of course, until his inevitable season ending injury. The kid is definitely tough and survived a whole season as a freshman starter last year but, c'mon, eventually the big angry men are going to crush the small boy, no? We'll look back fondly on the days when little Cody was at the helm as we watch the backups, Nelson & Ballenger, struggle mightily. Eventually they'll stabilize and fill in adequately and unremarkable.
At running back, we are young but deep. Demetrius Sumler will start to begin the season but freshman Great Scott (pictured) will soon break in and should share plenty of carries with the running back committee of all shapes and sizes. We'll run productively and catch out of the backfield. We'll see talent and speed not witnessed in Black & Gold since the days of Brown & Purify. But likewise we'll see plenty of mistakes indicative of youth - fumbles and poor pass blocking chief among them.
At tight end, Riar Geer (pictured here presumably during arraignment) returns after some off-season legal difficulty resulting from after hours fisticuffs - the pass time of champions. Assuming he manages to stay out of the pokey, he'll be a force. He's big, he catches the ball well and he hits like a, well, Riar Geer!
At wide receiver, we get one last chance to watch Patrick Williams (is that really him in the photo - really?) attempt to live up to his potential. It's been a long 4 years with this kid who seems like he should be all world, but just never has gotten there - in his wake are dropped passes and broken hearts. Make it right this year, Pat! Joining the senior are a list of freshmen and sophomores as long as your arm. Ahh, youth. As thrilling as they are exasperating.
Speaking of youth - again - the O-line is anchored by one senior surrounded by freshmen and sophomores. But this line, young though it may be, is absolutely gargantuan. Each man tops 300 pounds - something no other Buff line has boasted. Senior Daniel Sanders (pictured making a statement for inclusion in the All Hair-merican Team), who I hope to Buddha has been practicing his shotgun snaps 8 hours daily in the off-season, is a good leader for this crew. Super soph Ryan Miller will man one tackle while 6-9 converted TE Nate Solder will man the other. They are young but the line will be the strength of this team. But how will little Cody see over or around these big fellas?
In summary, the offense will be young and... good! Balanced attack, no-huddle outfit with playmakers doing what they do. Yay, offense!! But can their defensive counterparts hold up their end of the bargain? Stay tuned, Buff junkies...
Welcome to another exciting season of College Football. I apologize for lack of blogging over the past few months. Let it be known that, though I was not writing, the Buffs never left my mind. Now, just 17 days from game 1 of the 2008 season, I'm back and bloggier than ever!
Topic 1: Knees and the men who destroy them.
So in the course of about 1 week of fall camp not 1, not 2 but 3(!!) ACLs have been torn thereby ending the seasons of the Buffs attached to them. Uggh!
These *ahem* handsome gentlmen are Junior defensive end Drew Hudgins, Freshman guard Mike Iltis and highly touted true freshman linebacker Jon Major. All have suffered the dreaded non-contact, knee-tastrophy. Hay caramba...
Karma - I'm keeping score and you owe me exactly one improbably upset over an imposing football club from the eastern timezone. Yours truly, Buffalover.
The brilliant college football blog, Every Day Should be Saturday, is helping to pass the off season by executing some well penned rip offs of the also brilliant and hauntingly accurate blog, Stuff White People Like. Editions so far include:
So in the spirit of passing time and proactively poking fun at Buff fans, please sit back, take a grain of salt and enjoy Stuff Silver & Gold People Like:
(Of course, I don't have to tell you that in fact the University of Colorado official colors are Silver & Gold, not Black & Gold. Yet, Silver & Gold uniforms were outlawed in the mid 1920's when opponents complained that they were too shiny. However, the Glee Club declared them, "fabulous!".) Thing 1 - Subtle Condescendance: Look, we don't mean to be snooty or in your face. It's just that we deeply believe that we are better than you. From our incomparably beautiful campus to our Nobel laureates, astronauts and Supreme Court Justices. Sure, your team may in fact clobber us on the field, but we still walk out of the the stadium with a quiet confidence of superiority. We don't hate you... it's just that we think it's tragic that you aren't as casually cool as we are. In our minds, we're the Mac guy and your the PC guy. Keep trying, sport. And good luck!
Thing 2 - Tardiness: Yes, we're well aware of the published kick-off time and we do know that they'll start without us. That's cool, we'll get there eventually - probably by the start of the second quarter. You know, we were up kind of late last night. And we're currently in pursuit of our perfect game buzz. Sure, anyone can get a buzz on quickly and I'm sure our Big XII brethren all make their kickoffs on time. But frankly, we're just a tad too cool for that (see Thing 1).
Thing 3 - "Other Activities": OK, so it's true that we frequently do not sell out our entire 53K seat stadium. You think this is lame, of course. But, bro, you just don't understand. In Colorado, we have so many "other activities" that compete for the attention of thinking sports lovers like ourselves. Why there's hiking, cycling and kayaking. Perhaps it's opening weekend for the ski resorts. Rockies in the World Series (!?), Concert at Red Rocks, factory sale at Pearl Izumi, Dali Lama is in town, etc. Don't get us wrong, we love our college football, it's just that we (unlike you) have so many awesome choices spread before us on a given Fall Saturday, it's just not fair (see Thing 1)!
Thing 4 - The World's Toughest Schedule: While your team is scheduling every directional school nobody has ever heard of, the Buffs seek out the most horrifying of opponents to stock our non-conference schedule. We say "bring it!" to the likes of Florida State, West Virginia, Arizona State, USC, Miami, Michigan and the like. This is what we do. It's who we are. Don't bring your "logic" of scheduling winnable games to ensure that you get to a bowl of some sort. We laugh at your logic and ask you to punch us directly in the face ("Owwww! Thank you!"). Of course it's not just our inherent bravery that causes us to do this. It's the fact that our fans may not come to the games if we don't schedule quality opponents (see Thing 3). Also, we tried scheduling a patsy a couple of years back. One humiliating loss to I-AA Montana State Bobcats later and, frankly, we don't see what you all like so much about scheduling patsies.
Thing 5 - Rushing the Field: Ahhh yes, rushing the field. The spontaneous celebratory event that best demonstrates the spirit of collegiate athletics. The sheer unpolluted joy of an improbable victory culminates in the simultaneous spilling of humanity onto the playing surface to hug the heroes and tear down their goal posts. The mere mention of it causes tears to well in the eyes of any alum of any school. At CU, however, recent hard times have had the effect of elevating damned near any victory into the mass celebration that is the storming of the field. You may think us ridiculous and in fact stupid for such silly displays of emotion. And you may have a point there...
Thing 6 - Pot: Holy hell, Silver & Gold people love pot. Rocky Mountain High, ya damnnnned right. Sure, affection for the spleaf may not be unique to CU folk but I dare say our kind is on a whole different level (see Thing 1). Please, your little crush on gange is cute and innocent compared to our obsessive, stalker style love affair with the Maui Zowie. You see it's organic and we hippies love organic crap. "What do you mean it was grown in someone's basement hopped up on Miracle Grow, gimmee that damn you!" To celebrate our iconic herb, we hold a now famous celebration at 4:20 on 4/20 each year. (For the record, Buffalover does not himself indulge in the Kind but loves and supports his high-ass compatriots. Mom, really, I'm just high on life!)
Yes indeed there is much to discuss. Hawk and his staff have done us proud and landed a super shiny, new recruiting class.
The marquee member of this class is, of course, Darrell Scott - #1 rated running back in all the land. But "Great Scott!" as he shall be known is just one of many talented and, clearly, intellectually superior gentlemen who are soon to join our loving family. Joining Scott at running back is a second highly rated running back by the name of Ray "Of Sunshine" Polk. When considering these two speedy ball carriers, one cannot help but remember another talented pair who shared the rock and ran rough shod on the opposition. Could Scott and Polk be the second coming of Brown and Purify? The phrase "hey diddle, diddle, we're comin' up the middle!" comes to mind...
This class has a trio of highly rated offensive linemen (big uglies) who will do the Lord's work in the trenches. Ryan Dannewitz, Bryce Givens "'em hell" and Max Tuioti-Mariner will soon be terrorizing Big XII defenses and opening holes for the afore mentioned pair of RBs.
Key to a strong running and passing game is the position of tight end and the Buffs brought at least two on board. Tall, fleet and nasty is the theme anchored by the "fightin' Ryans" - Ryan Deehan and Ryan Wallace.
Other offensive contributors are too numerous to mention but be sure that we are in good hands for the foreseeable future.
On the defensive side, we landed several young gents to assist at DT and DB adding much need talent at these posts. But clearly the position of which to take note is linebacker where a terrifying group of slobberknockers signed up to abuse opposing offenses for years to come. Lynn "Crack" Katoa joins Jon Major, Shaun Mohler and Doug Rippy "yo head off!" in a linebacker gathering perhaps not equaled since the days of Alfred Williams and Kanavis McGhee.
Also in the group is a kicker from Idaho, Jameson Davis, who will aspire to carry on the great Colorado tradition.
Of course none of these kids have yet to play a down for the Buffs so celebration is a bit premature. However, I wish to say unabashedly that I love these kids. You see, this is the difference between college sports and those at any other level. In college, each athlete chooses where he will play. He makes a conscious decision to become a part of a particular family. Scott, Katoa and the rest of this bunch have just informed us that they wish to be a part of our precious family. And for that I thank them, welcome them and, yes, love them.
The build up to the CU/NU game had that palpable feel of a defining moment for one team or the other. Could Colorado cap a turn-around season with a win over a hated rival while becoming bowl eligible? Could Nebraska build on the momentum of their blowout KSU victory and save their coach's job?
A crisp, cold morning greeted nervous revelers as they clomped through frozen parking lots nursing turkey hang-overs, beer in hand. Ralphie's fiery breath could be seen in enormous clouds of steam escaping her mighty nostrils. The clapping of tens of thousands of glove covered hands created a distinctive sound not unlike the thundering hooves of a heard of angry Buffaloes...
The valiant seniors were honored before the kickoff. A brave and earnest crew that had endured much and served well. All they desired in this world was one more victory over the Red Menace. Wiley veterans willing to sacrifice one more time in a battle of good versus evil.
Kickoff! The ball sails through the frigid air signifying the commencement of battle. Pads pop, steam rises from helmets, crazed fans cheer wildly.
The Buffs strike first. Behind a surging o-line and a bit of mis-direction, CU moves the ball well throughout the opening period possessing a lead of 10 late in the 1st quarter.
But then the fearsome Nebraska offense comes alive and begins to gobble up great swaths of yardage completing brilliant passes to large and burly receivers. Oh no, this can't happen! The Buffs trail by 11 at the half.
A solemn and chilly halftime witnesses Buff fans stifling the terror that stirs deep in their hearts. The prospect of a loss to the Corn is real yet unthinkable. This is not the way it is supposed to end...
But deep inside the home locker room a mighty force swells. The Buffs hatch brilliant defensive schemes aimed at forcing turnovers. They swear to strike hard and often. Meanwhile the offense collects themselves and vows to embody the smash-mouth style of play that is their true heritage. This is an army that will not be turned back!
Commence the second half. The visitors are treated in a most inhospitable manner. The black clad hosts deliver hits like mighty hammers. Interceptions rain down like justice! Punts are blocked by soaring Buffaloes possessed by the spirit of their victorious forefathers. Pancake blocks are delivered without mercy. Tailbacks bowl over would-be tacklers twice their size. Crushing tackles are delivered with unholy ferocity! In all, the Buffalo heroes place 65 on the scoreboard and a stake in the cold heart of the Cornhuskers.
On this day, victory and justice would not be denied the Buffaloes. On this day a statement is made which echoes from sea to shining sea. And that statement is - the Corndevils are dead. After endless years of pillaging and raping the good people of the college football countryside, the Red Scourge has been decisively put into their grave. And upon that grave we dance!
The Buffs and the Huskers in one of the most bizarre seasons in history come into the final game both sporting identical records - 5 wins, 6 losses. In addition to the normal rival-rific intensity and innate hatred comes the specter of bowl eligibility. He who wins gets it, he losses does not.
The Buffs have had a predictably inconsistent year in phase 2 of the the rebuilding effort. The Corn meanwhile have undergone a meltdown of biblical proportions in which they have given up more points in one season then they had in some previous decades. Along the way they have fired their Athletic Director and are on the eve of whacking their head coach. It's a total train wreck that translates into pure, sweet joy in the eyes of Buffs! Hooray karma!
But wait. What? Wouldn't you know it! Just as the Buffs are set to deal the final death blow onto a much deserved gasping, bleeding, whithering team... the Nebrass-holes rise up and get well! Real well to the tune of a 73-31 victory over K-State (who incidentally beat the Buffs by 20 earlier this year). Damn you, karma, don't quit on us now!
In all seriousness, friends, we badly need to win this game. We need it to feel the progress of a .500 season. We need it to get to a bowl, however pedestrian, to get extra practice for this young team. We need it to send heroic seniors such as Dizon, Charles, Walters and Wheatley out on a high note. But most of all we need it to crush the spirit of the Fuskers who have wrought unspeakable acts upon the Buffs and their Big 8/12 brethren for decades. We need it to strike a final blow for justice and goodness. When you see the Great Satan knocked to the floor you do not let him get up again. We must do this for the children lest another generation live through the tyranny of Cornhusker competence. Kill, kill, KILL!!!!!
(Deep breath)
So, Friends of the Buffaloes, come out to dear old CU this Friday, bundle up, and bring your shoutin' voice & your dancin' shoes. For we shall put the Corndogs in their grave once and for all. And upon that grave we shall dance!
The Big XII officiating coordinator this week explained the two controversial calls at the end of the ISU-CU game that essentially prevented the game from going into overtime. The conference official is quoted below: "The exception that is in there is to prevent a team that is wanting to run the clock out," Anderson said. "So if it becomes fourth down and the defense is going to get the ball, but rather than punting the ball they just line up in a scrimmage kick formation and intentionally let the clock run out. Because it was running, the rule says that you assess the penalty and then you wind the clock. That exception is in there so that a team is not allowed just to bleed the clock down." "It's also at the referee's discretion because the opposite also holds true. If you have a team that doesn't want the clock to run but doesn't have any time outs, you don't allow them, in essence, to commit a foul thereby causing the clock to stop."
So the key point here is that the referee's decisions were not technically incorrect. HOWEVER the calls were discretionary meaning that they could have gone the other way and the refs could have done more to enable a surging team dealing with an expiring game clock to snap the ball when clearly they were lined up appropriately and ready to go. "At the referee's discretion" a 50 yard field goal and then a 55 yard field goal were wiped off the board. In SMQ's words this is "negation of accomplishment" and damned hard to swallow.
Forget that the Buffs shot themselves in the foot for the better part of the second half. The fact remains that they actually tied the game in heroic fashion and yet "at the referee's discretion" they were denied overtime. That's a pretty critical discretionary call, no?
So who exactly is this referee who made said discretionary call? Well, it's none other than a gentleman by the name of Clete Blakeman. While he's not refereeing Big XII football games, he's an Omaha attorney. Oh yeah, he is also a FORMER NEBRASKA CORNHUSKER QB. Who finds it shocking that a Cornhusker given the discretion to determine the outcome of a CU game would choose to feed the Buffs a big old crap sandwich? I can barely contain my astonishment...
So with that, my friends, I declare the commencement of the annual Nebraska Hate Week. Act accordingly.
Look... I just... I don't know what to say. There are damned few things in this world that I really think that I "get". But college football is one of those things. Correction, WAS one of those things. Then 2007 rolled around and I don't know what to think. Kansas is 10-0 and #3 in the BCS. The esteemed ESPN College Game Day broadcasted this week from the campus of Williams College (Williamstown, MA - current home of our own Johnny and Chrissy Mac!) to cover the critical late season match-up of Williams-Amherst. The free-falling Huskers suddenly unleash hell and score 73 points on an allegedly good team. And the Buffs blow a 21 point lead but come back in the waning moments of a game at Iowa State to kick not one but TWO improbably long field goals in the final 3 seconds of the game only to have them both disallowed. What. The. Fuck?!
I'm going to need a good couple of days before I can even think about the upcoming finale of a game with a certain despised rival. So stay tuned for that.
In the mean time I think I'll teach myself Farsi. Or string theory. Or string theory in Farsi. Perhaps I have a glimmer of hope of understanding that. But college football 2007, forget about it.
It's a rare privilege to witness what I did on Saturday. A bold and well conceived game plan, crisp execution, high morale, teamwork, good communication, flawless hand-offs, gutting it out through injuries. Really an amazing performance and the adoring fans cheered, cheered and cheered some more!
Thank you Shannon (and Hamid!) for an amazing Lobsterfest 2007!
What? You thought I was talking about football? Holy cats. That's was horrendous! Possibly the worst I've seen. The Buffs exhibited the rarely seen trifecta of drowsiness, confusion and genuine dip-shitery! I'm just thankful that Bill McCartney wasn't alive to see this atrocity. What, he is!? Oh goddammit!
Don't get me wrong, I love these Buffs as much as I love my own children. But let's just say that a revision in the will is underway...
But back to the tailgate. Really possibly the best ever event and thank you again, Shannon (and Hamid!). A beautiful day, great food, birthdays were celebrated, friendships were rekindled, children were conceived (you know, possibly!) and one spectacular red-headed yoga instructor keg stand was executed. God bless America!
Yes, friends, it's back. Football is back. The Buffs finally take the field yet again on an early fall Sunday (!) evening at Mile High Stadium. The Cow State Rams play their Super Bowl, as usual, at the beginning of the season. We've seen it year after year. The goats play their best game of the season against the Buffs. On paper it almost always should be a blow out, but in reality it is almost always a dog fight. Bring your lunch, boys, we're in for a slog.
And a night game, no less. That could mean one and only one thing - CSU riot, tear gas and Denver police finally using those shiny night sticks that went untested during the DNC. Hoo boy, when the bumpkins come to the big city mayhem ensues!
