Perusing this week's AP Top 5 reveals 3 teams that we've already played (Oklahoma, Arizona State, Kansas) as well as the one that we're about to play, Missouri. Who plays a tougher schedule than the Buffs? Nobody, citizens, nobody. Can we get to .500 versus the top ten? We're about to find out.
Ooh the Tigers are good this year. Offensively, actually, they are great. They have the nightmare combination of speed and size at wide receiver, quality at tailback and (worst of all) a QB that is a fantastic passer and a deadly runner. Oy Vey. The defense while not great is quite capable and has stepped up when needed. So how do you prepare for such an opponent? Well by making sport of their names, of course!
For starters, Mizzou has 3 guys on the team named Chase. Chase, the quintessential douche-baggy over privileged white kid name. Adding to this category are a guy name Brock, one Brendan, a Blake, Forrest and Dain. What is this - a Tommy Hilfiger ad? A day-time soap opera cast? Please.
Next, they have the "hilarious/illiterate mis-spelled" names. Jaysen and Kurtis. Moving on.
In the "apostrophe for no apparent reason category" - De'Vion and La'Roderick. How Ri'Diculous.
Then the "stolen from a famous person" names such as Elvis, Levi and Evander. What, no Madonna?
Also the "invented this name to sound like a badass" - Stryker. Wasn't that an '80s metal band. Actually, that one is pretty cool.
Additionally we have the head scratchers of "completely unknown (possibly sci-fi) origin" - Castine and Scipio.
Finally, "my extra special favorite football name of all times" - Pig Brown. Yes, Pig Brown is Mizzou's best defensive player who is sadly injured and unable to play this Saturday.
So there you have it. In all probability we'll lose to this team on Saturday, but we can hold our heads high knowing that we teased them well.
For those of you in the know and in the posse, you have one more lovely, delectable, savory, rich, red-ish (though not red!) reason to come up to old CU this Saturday:
CU Saturday!
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