The Rocky Mountain Hoe-down

Your season of discontent is about to end. Your off-season purgatory is mercifully terminating as you ascend to the heaven of weekly doses of college football. Glory be, let the games begin!

And who do we Buffaloes meet first but our kissing cousins from the North. Some call them the Colorado State University Rams. Others refer to them by their historical moniker, the Colorado A&M Aggies. Other known aliases include Colorado's Second University, CS Ewe, the Poudre Pirates, Larimer County Community College, Cow College, Dirt U, Fort Knockers, Scholars of Animal Husbandry... Where was I going with that? Oh yeah, the rivalry.

Yes, it is a rivalry. Even though CU has historically dominated the contest, the Rammies come loaded for bear every damned year. I respect them for this.

We love to razz them good naturedly. Not just because of their low paying jobs and their unattractive women but also because of their wardrobe. I mean, seriously. Guys who wear nearly thigh high boots with high heels and pointy toes while also adorning big garish hats have some not so well kept secrets in that closet. Then again, they say we're sissies because our boys shave our legs and wear bright colored lycra. To which I say... touché, Gomer, touché.

They hate us for being smarter, better looking and more charming. And for being arrogant. OK, we are a bit arrogant when it comes to CSU. For this I apologize even if I can't reform. Truly some of my favorite people on this planet are CSU alumni. I love them for their fun-loving, agrarian ways. They are the salt of the Earth. That is with the exception of Bradlee Van Pelt who is obviously an unredeemable prick.

The Lambs got the victory last year, part of a sad, sad season for CU. What will happen this year? No figgin' idea! CSU has lot's of experience. Offensively, the CSU QB Caleb Hanie surgically dismantled the CU defensive backfield last year even without the threat of a running game. This year slobber-knocker TB Kyle Bell returns from injury to balance Hanie's passing. This concerns me.

Then again, I believe the Buffs will bring a credible offense to this game (unlike last year). We too will be able to bring in balanced running and passing games. It may be unspectacular, but we should move the ball.

Regardless, both teams will come thirsty for blood. CU on a mission of redemption and CSU playing their Super Bowl. It will be fun. It will be college football!

And a damned early college football game at that. With the kick-off at Mile High scheduled for 10 AM, the tailgating activities will begin at 8 AM in lot D. Look for Hamid's impressive pole raised high above the parking lot. Also, there will be a big flag and windsock. (See what I did there, crotch humor!) We'll have the grill going cooking up some delicious parking lot breakfast treats for your hungry souls.

CU Saturday!

Buff Superheroes

Eight days left until the kickoff of the new season and what do we know? The press has been quite active on all aspects of the Buffs 2007 team. Netbuffs.com has been totally abuzz. And there have been a couple of scrimmages open to the public. So again, what do we know? Well, we still know very little. Such is the problem of watching teams play against themselves. But fear not, truth seekers. All will be revealed on September 1st.

Until then, here's a look at some of the characters that shape your 2007 Colorado Buffaloes...

Cody The Adorable

We know that Cody Hawkins will be the starting QB. Loveable, adorable, little kid. I’ve harped on his vertical deficiencies already but please don’t label me a heightist. I value all people equally regardless of physical stature. But I’m terribly hung up on this short QB issue. Yes, I think he’s the best guy on the roster to man the QB spot and I think that he’ll be serviceable. But this shortness issue ain’t going away. In last week’s scrimmage, he was impressive but on no fewer than 2 occasions his un-tallness caused terrible mistakes. First it was a pass that was tipped at the line of scrimmage then ultimately intercepted. Next it was a shotgun snap that sailed inches over his outstretched fingertips resulting in a 20 yard loss. When those things happen in an actual game, they can be devastating. Get the Nike scientists working on the new Air Lift cleats, STAT!

Michael the Destroyer

I previously discussed our deep and talented LB corp. Um, whoops. Since then the very important inside linebacker position has been badly crippled. Bad ass true sophomore Michael Sipili has been suspended for quite literally caving in the face of some guy during a fight on the Hill. His backup, Marcus Burton, has recently been declared academically ineligible. Kids today! So that leaves us with #3 string RJ Brown. By all accounts RJ is a great kid who does not perform free-lance facial deconstruction surgeries but does go to class. Great qualities. The problem is that he is under-sized, under-fast and otherwise under-gifted. This makes me under-happy.

Josh the Bruised

Soon after Josh Smith began camp and dazzled coaches and fans with his WR skills the true freshman collided with a Folsom Field wall in the 2nd scrimmage. The result, a bruised kidney. Ouch. He’ll be out for at least a few weeks and may end up red-shirting for the year. So who’s left at WR? Patrick Williams is teasing us again with his potential, Dusty Sprague and Alvin Barnett are disappearing and a walk-on named Scotty is likely to win the other spot. And don't forget, there’s another, dare I say, adorable Cody on the team. Cody Crawford the slow, tiny yet sure handed junior will be out there to haul in some 5 yard out patterns shortly before being drilled by a cornerback. I’m sorry, but when a full half of your offensive skill players are named Cody or Scotty, you might be in deep yogurt. Still adorable though!


Terrence the Invincible

Terrence Wheatley has been locked in at one cornerback position and is the real deal. He may be small but he’s as close a thing as there is to a shut-down corner. The question has been, who would win the other spot. The answer, Ben Burney. I love this kid (as I love all Buffs) but I really think that he should consider changing his name. A DB with “burn” in his name is just tempting fate. It’s about as intimidating to opposing offenses as a saftey named Dykes. What? That’s actually our safety’s name? Crap.


Note: It seems that all of these guys dress exactly alike. That's kind of freaking me out.

Season preview

If you know me, you know I'm an hysterical optimist. But as I age, I've been trying to bring realism into my world view. Sadly, optimism and realism are not always fast friends. With that said here's my 2007 Buff optimistic yet realistic preview.

The good news - 2006 is over. The worst year of the modern era occurred last year and we all watched it with horror and amazement. It was ugly, it was frustrating. But if we can use that as the baseline, there is nowhere to go but up! 2007 will be a year to look for progress. It will not, however, be the year to look for championships. So with "progress" in mind, let's break it down.

Coaching


You know Dan Hawkins is goofy and lovable. You know that he had a mind-boggling winning percentage at Boise State. So he's got my full support and I am rooting for him. But for me, the jury is still out. When I hear him speak and read his quotes he seems to me to be, well, not very smart. Enthusiastic, optimistic, confident, funny - you bet. I like all those qualities but if he's "Einstein on the Sidelines", he hides it well. 2006 was a rebuilding year and he was a bit limited in what he could do in the playbook. 2007 will be a much better season on which to judge his intellectual capacities. Let the goofy genius emerge!

Offense

The offense was terrible last year, yet somehow we were still in almost every game. This year it will be much better. I don't believe that it will be great, but I think it will be significantly more efficient and productive.

At quarterback, we're likely to see the fruit of Dan's loins, Cody Hawkins. Cody seems like a great kid and a good leader. But, let's be honest, he's just a little bitty 'un. I sure hope he's Doug Flutie reincarnate but I think that it's more realistic to think that he's just going to be smart and efficient but not an overly productive little, tiny, eensy weensy fella. And short too.

Speaking of short, Hugh Charles is short. But he is a bad ass short dude. He is fast as hell and has great moves. And he's strong. Still, he's not the kind of guy who can carry 20-30 times a game all year. He'll need help and I'm hopeful that one of the other backs will step up to spell Hugh. It would be great to see Demitrius Sumler turn into a third down monster or something. It would also be great to see a blocking fullback on the field. Fullbacks are still legal in college football, right?

Now let's turn our attention to the receiving corps. At WR, we are in sad shape. Patrick Williams has fallen below expectations each of the last 2 years. The guy totally looks the part until he actually tries to catch the ball and then... doink! We do have 3 evidently talented true freshmen coming in. If one or more of them can be ready to play this fall, it would be a boon. If not, we are in deep, terrifying trouble. The good news is that we have some very talented tight ends (Geer, Devree, Sanders). So look for lots of outlet passes to RBs and TEs.

The O-line is the most critical piece of the puzzle. I'm not gonna lie to you, I am scared to death about this unit. There is not much depth here although there is some talent. But realistically we are going to be starting a true freshman on the line this year and that is never a harbinger of good things.

So in summary, the offense will be much better this year but still pretty shaky. But we will have a cute-as-a button, miniature quarterback. So. Adorable!

Defense

Last year the D kept us in a lot of games even when the O absolutely could not find the end-zone or, often, a first down. Collectively, they should receive the congressional medal of honor or something. This year, I expect them to be just as good or better if the O can control the ball just a bit and score occasionally.

The defensive tackle position is well manned by big, nasty, manly, ugly guys like George Hypolite and Brandon Nicolas. Love those guys. The DE spot should do well with Maurice Lucas and Alonzo Barrett. Solid group all around.

Then there is the usual stellar linebacking corp. This group is anchored by 4 year starter, Jordan Dizon. The other 2 joining him are Michael Sipili and Brad Jones. They are big, they are fast and they are well coached. This group is simply bad ass.

The DBs are also quite talented. Tyrone Wheatley will man one of the corners and he is among the best in the business. At one safety is Ryan Walters who will blow you the hell up, bro.

In summary, the D is quite good and should give opponents plenty of problems.

Special Teams

Sadly, Mason Crosby is gone. Kevin Eberhart takes over the kicking duties and should be solid but simply mortal and un-Crosbylike.

Stephone Robinson was a good return man for a couple of years. Those were good times. But last year he was simply a disaster and was eventually benched. He could regain the job in this his senior year. But other candidates exist as well, so stay tuned on this one.

Matt DiLallo was the punter last year and he was unspectacular. Perhaps someone will inform him that he is a punter for Colorado and suddenly he'll start booming them. Besause that's what we do here - put that rock into the stratosphere, dog.

Summary

So there you have it, Friends. A completely optimistic, realistic, wild-ass projection of your 2007 Colorado Buffaloes. To recap:
* Defense - bad ass
* Special Teams - mystery
* Offense - adorable
* Coaching - goofy

GO BUFFS!




In related news, Alec Baldwin is now the head coach over at Nebraska. He was awesome in that one movie a while back... you know the one with that other guy. But he could never handle the weak side blitz, so I like our chances over the Fuskers.

Season Over

Well my friends, it was a rough one. Rebuilding is brutal but none of us expected 2-10. Thank goodness it's over.

In terms of immediate concerns, let's all cheer for OU in the Big XII Championship game. I want those damned Huskers to lose and lose badly. Don't bring that "support the division" crap. Anyone who thinks that we should have loyaly to a division, conference or whatever just is not paying attention. It does the Buffs no good whatsoever to have a North team (other than us, of course) win the Conference. As a matter of fact it does us some harm since it would strengthen the very team that we will need to beat next year to win the conference ourselves (more on that later). So shut up about that, OK?

Next issue - recruiting. The Buffs need a really solid class filling areas of need. For the most part, Hawk and staff are doing that. Lot's of O-linemen (including the best player in the state, Ryan Miller) have signed with us which is key. We also landed a couple of good QBs including a JC transfer. However, the one area that is the thinnest currently (WR) has not yet been addressed in recruiting. The good news is, the coaching staff won't be "distracted" during the month of December with silly things like conference championship games and bowl berths and will therfore have plenty of time to recruit some great receivers.

So relax Buff fans. Your suffereing is now over for this year. Take some time off to focus on other things like, I don't know, your job and family. Come back rested next year ready for the Buffs to improve significantly, eclipse .500, and make it back into the post season. The road to a confernce championship is likely many years long but we'll get back there. We will.

The Corn Bowl

FOTBs,

Look, facts are facts. We don't like Nebraska and they don't like us. Although in our case, the reasons for disliking NU are well understood and justified. In their case, they hate us because we have beautiful women, a future, command over the English language and this evil "blogging" technology which surely is the work of Satan or the Democrats and what's the difference anyway...

The point is that Friday's game will be a big damned blood feud. Both teams wanting to exact a pound of flesh and claim bragging rights for one year. To the victor go the spoils whatever that means.

I, like all Buffs, would just hate losing to the Huskers. Yet I must admit that they are likely to kick our butts. They have a solid, talented team which is clearly on the rise. They will play in the Big XII champioship game next week and good bowl after that. The Buffs on the other hand are 2-9 with no bowl game on the horizon. A pitiful season nearly mercifully over...

But wait, faithful. Know this - the road to Buffaloe salvation goes through Stinkin' Lincoln. We will bring every last ounce of emotion, every last bit of energy to the game on Friday. We may go down, but we'll do so having fired every last bullet in our gun. And we will walk off that field with our heads held high - win or lose.

In many ways, it's a no lose situation for the Buffs. Everyone expects us to lose. So if we do, we merely meet expectations. But if we win? Oh brother! If we win, we're the Corn Bowl Champs with heaps of mometum going into next year. NU is utterly humilated by losing - at home - to a 2-9 team one week before going to the conference champioship game. Husker confidence is so rattled that they lay a turd in KC and lose to Texas 70-3 (eery isn't it?) and similarly collapse in the bowl game before spending the off-season searching for answers. And every night they'll cry themselves to sleep knowing that it was the Buffs who once again knocked the Corn Express off the tracks and into the ditch.

And that is why we play this game, friends. For the chance to exact pain on a much deserving cult of Corn. Delicious, isn't it?

Happy Thanksgiving. Give thanks that you were born a Buff.

GO BUFFS!
Buffalover

The greatest college football game of our generation (except for the 1990 Orange Bowl, of course)

Look, I know that this is supposed to be a blog about the Buffs. But the Buffs are off this weekend while preparing to humiliate the Huskers next week. And there just so happens to be a little game being played tomorrow that is, shall we say, "interesting." Michigan v. Ohio State.

Hey, I hate the over-hyped events just as much as the next guy. But I think it's safe to say that it's difficult to overstate the magnitude of this particular game. Consider this:
1) The UM/OSU rivalry is unquestionably the best in college sports and an argument can be made that it's the best in American sports - period.
2) OSU is #1 and UM is #2 in every poll and in the BCS rankings. The number 3 team (USC) is as distant as you can get at this level.
3) It's the last game that either of these teams will play before the bowl season. Meaning in all likelihood the Fiesta Bowl will feature the winner of this game and some controversial one-loss team. So in essence, tomorrow's game is the real national championship game.

I don't care if you have no interest or allegiance to either of these schools - this is a must watch event. And while you are must-watching it, may I suggest that you root for Michigan. I have my own biases towards Michigan which some of you share. But even if you are technically neutral, I have one unarguable reason why you will root for the Blue. OSU wears red. You are a Buff fan and therefore you and leading scientists agree that people who wear red are simply more evil than people who don't. So strike a mighty blow against evil by pulling for the Wolverines tomorrow.

Go Blue!
Buffalover

Victory # 2

Fantastic. Let us savor the taste of victory. During a season in which it has been far too hard to come by, winning really has never been more sweet. The last home game of the season found the Buffs hitting on all cylinders for just the second time of the season. The result - a dominating, delightful win.

This one ensures us that that this season will not go down in the record book as the worst (though it's close). It also gives us some confidence and some momentum going into the final game of the season... but we'll save that discussion for another day.

Today, enjoy it. Think about the seniors who have endured so much. And think about how fun the climb back up the hill is going to be.

Clobber the 'Clones

Friends of the Buffaloes,

Last Saturday was a day to remember. Beautiful weather, unobstructed Flatirons view, good friends and tasty lobsters. A perfect fall Boulder afternoon. Definitely a privilege and an honor to behold.

What's that you say? The game was painful? Awful? Disappointing? Miserable? Well, buck up little Buffalo soldiers, better times are ahead. Sure, this is the worst season in over 20 years but let me tell you something. Never EVER forget who you are. You are a Buff and attending games at Folsom Field is not simply your duty, it's an honor and a privilege. Take the word of the guy who lives half a world away and still made it to two games this year.

Furthermore, every painful loss that the Buffs have endured this year is just fuel. Explosive fuel for a Buffalo time bomb that will someday ignite with the power and the fury to blow apart the world of college football and unleash hell upon our rivals. The day is coming, my friends and we will rejoice in the rhapsody of the faithful and the righteous. Oh yes, the day is coming...

And that day, might just be Saturday at Folsom Field where the Buffs will square off against the Iowa State Cyclones. So be sure to exercise your right and privilege of taking your friends and loved ones out for one last view of the 2006 Buffs. The day is coming.

Go Buffs!
Buffalover

Bugs, butter, beer & Buffs

(from Oct 23)

Friends of the Buffaloes,

We may not be knocking off opponents as well as we once did, but I'll wager that we can still do serious damage to some live Maine lobsters. It's nearly that time of year again, and our friend Hamid is fixing to import a batch of our favorite crustaceans. So consider this your official invitation for the annual Lobsterfest to be held on November 4th at the hallowed B-School parking lot. Send your RSVPs by Thursday this week to ensure a bug to call your own. $15 dollars per lobster head including butter, bread, salad and beer.

Send head count number to Hamid.

Several special guests from near and far will be attending this big event so don't miss it. Oh yeah, and there's a football game too.

CU pronto,
Buffalover


(From Nov 3)
FOTBs,

This event of which you've all been notified is just several hours away. By now, you've reserved your lobster and are counting the minutes until you can tear into it's tender flesh much as the Buffaloes are preparing to tear through Kansas State Wildcats!

Hamid and Shannon will arrive bright and early to prepare this special meal for your enjoyment. Game begins at 1:30, bugs served between 11 and 12, tailgate begins at 10. And I assure you that the B-school parking lot is open and grass fields are available for your enjoyment.

CU Saturday,
Buffalover

Victory

It happened. Karma finally kicked in. The glimpses that we've seen all season of who these Buffs could be have finally been realized.

Let's be clear. The Buffs dind't merely beat Texas Tech on Saturday, they kicked their ass. They dominated both sides of the ball from wire to wire. And save for one mistake that turned into a long scoring play, we shut out one of the most prolific offenses in the country. Special teams were special again. Hugh and the rest of the stable were spectacular. The defense made big plays and got take-aways.

And it was all done without a single Buff penalty. Mind-boggling.

So things ae looking up. I won't declare that the Buffs are back just yet. But we have indeed crossed an important chasm, and it feels great. Enjoy it, friends.

Ralphie to Run Rough-shod over Red Raiders?

Friends of the Buffaloes,

Due.

That's the term they use for a team that is, statistically speaking, on the verge of a major tun of events. And that is what our Buffs are now - due. Due for a breakout game by a wide receiver. Due for a game-changing long field goal. Due for a punt return for a TD. Due for a defensive takeaway that produces a touchdown. Due for a 150 rushing day by Hugh Charles. Due for a mistake free performance. Due for victory!

"But Buffalover," you say, "how can the 0-6 Buffs possibly beat Texas Tech who has that prolific passing offense?" Glad you asked. The answer may surprise you - a productive Buff rushing attack. That's right, the Buffs have been running the ball very well and expect that to improve further this week. By doing so, the Buffs will produce long clock-killing drives that keep the Tech offense off of the field. And furthermore, that Buff rush attack will finally start producing TDs. With a Buff lead on the scoreboard, Tech will be pressing and will make mistakes... Abe Wright sacks QB - fumble! Fearsome blitz causes throw to go awry - Terrence Wheatley pick, he's fast, TD! But Tech battles back, gets some points, makes it close. Then Mason Crosby comes in for a game winning, clock expiring 70 yard field goal! Demons vanquished. Buffaloes win. Harmony restored to the Flatirons. Relief.

So that's how it will play out, faithful. Be sure not to miss the moment when karma kicks in. Schlep yourself and the kids out to dear old CU this Saturday. Enjoy tasty food and beverages and savor the flavor of a much deserved Buffalo victory!

Go Buffs!
Buffalover

Buffs & Bears

(From October 5th)

Friends of the Buffaloes,

A very wise man once said... "Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is interesting. What they conceal is vital!" Who was that wise man? Plato.

And if Plato were here today he would surely remark that while the Buffs are currently 0-5, they are the best 0-5 team in the country! At which point Plato would be punched in the face.

But you know what? Our bloody-faced Plato is right. Now I'm not saying that we're a good team. Not a polished product. But I must point out that our boys, in the midst of a rebuilding year, are giving everyone they play a tough time. We are not getting blown out by anyone. And we're actually just a handful of plays away from being 5-0 right now.

Sure we've got our problems, but these Buffs "Never Give In" and neither should you, friends. This week's match-up brings the Baylor Bears to town. These same Bad News Bears beat the Buffs in their last meeting 3 years ago. The good and the bad news is that that game is no longer in the record books as "most embarrassing loss ever." But what's important is that we have an opportunity to avenge that loss and turn around this lousy season by going out and beating the tar out of those guys.

So come on out to campus on Saturday, tailgate wherever it is that you people tailgate these days, rekindle that camaraderie and support your Buffs!

Go Buffs!
Buffalover