Midnight in the garden of Good vs. Evil

Friends of the Buffaloes,

So here we are. Standing at 1-1, approaching game 3. And who comes to town for the pivotal contest but the tradition-rich yet tarnished Seminoles of Florida State. A Buffs-Noles match-up tends to get folks excited. Adding fuel to that excitement inferno is the fact that it's the first Folsom Field game of the season and it is at night.

That's right, the game begins at 8 PM MST. Just picture the scene...


[Open Scene]

Geeserly octogenarian legend Bobby Bowden waddles into Folsom Field 2-3 hours after his east coast bedtime. His players, warming up, take unsatisfying gulps of thin mountain air. "Need (gasp) oxygen (gasp) for the (gasp) love (gasp) of God... [blacking out]." Thousands of dangerously inebriated fans create a palpable buzz of anticipation as a a cloud of spleef smoke rolls down from the student section. The PA system emits a powerful voice proclaiming, "Heeeeere comes Ralphie!!!!" Noles turn in the direction of a curious rumbling noise, "Dear God (gasp) what is that (gasp) creature AIGHHH! [faint]"

And thus goes 4 quarters of football. Visiting Floridian players disoriented by dry air and lack of oxygen, haunted by the image of the terrifying mangy demonic creature seen barreling across the field prior to kickoff make gaff after hilarious gaff as their snoozy coach repeatedly needs to be awakened in order to be consulted about who he'd like to insert at QB while Drew Weatherford is being administered smelling salts under an oxygen mask.

It seems like a dream. Like a 4 quarter nightmare full of unfamiliar faces, angry Polynesians dressed in black, midget quarterbacks, naturally beautiful yet unattainable co-eds, fake punts, tailback direct snaps, flea flickers... "I want to wake up, I want to wake up!" cries a voice. "Snap out of it, Coach Bowden, you are awake. The game ended 2 hours ago, it's 2 AM. You really should get a gurney for that Weatherford kid over there. We need to clean the stadium and replace the goal posts. Travel safe now, pops."

[End Scene]

Eh, could happen.

Certainly what will happen is tailgating. And, friends, we have upped the ante. Two words - GOLD LOT. That's right, we now reside in the penultimate location for top-shelf tailgating. The creme de la creme of cocktail collaboration. You will know us by our beaming smiles and glistening, aromatic bratwurst. And the proud flag pole supporting a Buff flag and windsock. 'Gating begins at 5:00 PM.

CU Saturday!

So.... that happened...

Um, yeah. It seems that the rebuilding project is yet a work in progress. The Buffs traveled to the desert Saturday and received a sound beating at the hands of ASU. The Buffs had plenty of chances and lucky breaks early but they could not mount any real offensive firepower while the defense couldn't slow the Sun Devil offense.

The worst part of it was that suddenly the CU receivers developed an horrendous case of the dropsies. Patrick Williams who a week ago looked to have corrected his pass catching deficiencies reverted to the old, bad, ball aversive tendencies. Good Patrick - please come back. Bad Patrick - begone inept demon whose ball dropping causes me to die a little with each bumbling miscue.

Cody looked more like a freshman this week than last. He had some moments when he had thrilling, needle-threading deep strikes to stone handed receivers. But at other times, he made mistakes and ugly, stinking throws. So I'm still on the bandwagon and I grant him the right to play like a freshman because, hey, he's a freshman.

Also the defense which was good early, turned into a tackle-missing, soft-zone playing girlified mamsie pamsie unit once Rudy Carpenter heated up. This must be corrected, kids.

So to review: Saturday's Buff performance - Not Good. My love for same Buffs - un-dieing.

Standin' in the middle of the desert waitin' for my ship to come in...

The currently undefeated Buffs travel this week to Tempe, Arizona to face the blistering Sun Devils of ASU. Fortunately, it will be a night game so temperatures are expected to be in the low 100s. Que calor!

This year's ASU team features new head coach/gun-toting-mercenary Dennis Erickson who at this very moment is likely drunkenly breaking state, federal or NCAA laws. Dennis has taken his fun loving, fast living, morality skirting ways all over this great land from the tropics of southern Florida to the redwood forests of the northwest. He'll lead the Sun Devils to some crazy, gunslinging, statistic popping successes and fabulous failures before one day leaving town for the next sexy opportunity and just ahead of the arresting authorities. A true beacon of offense and hedonism.

This game will be a serious test for the Buffs. They must play much better than they did against CSU to have a chance. Particularly, the defense must step up. Pass defense has been our weakness over the past year and the Devils are going to chuck it around some. Prepare for a track meet. Offensively, the Buffs will likely still be without the 3 best players in Hugh Charles, Bernard Jackson and Josh Smith. So let's hope the Cody/Scotty show can continue its little parade.

A win here would be huge. Let's take it to the felonious one!

Rocky Mountain Throw-down, indeed

Oh, Rammies, I can’t stay mad at you. I just admire the heck out of how those kids play against the Buffs. They came out Saturday and gave us everything they had. The Buffs did likewise and the result was a college football classic. Truly one of the most fun games I’ve attended. Both crowds were enthusiastic and on their feet nearly the entire game. The score remained close throughout and there was plenty of gutsy play calling. Hamid, not always known as the most gracious of winners, said it best, “It’s a shame that somebody had to lose that game”. Indeed.

But the Buffs came out on top of this one and in thrilling manner. Here’s my review…

Offense:

OK, I just bought a ticket on the Cody/Scotty bandwagon. Cody’s height did come into play as 3 balls got tipped at the line of scrimmage. But otherwise, the kid impressed the hell out of me. That was one high pressure situation and Cody never flinched. He typically delivered the ball on the money and he was clearly a very effective leader. Considering this was his first snap in college, he hasn’t played an actual game in 1.5 years, the team is digging out of a big hole and he’s under the microscope for being the coach’s kid… he really was fantastic. Meanwhile Scotty McKnight got open and caught everything thrown his way. The redshirt freshman walk-on was the leading receiver in the game on either side of the ball. Hugh got injured in the first drive but another redshirt freshman, Demitrius Sumler, filled in admirably. Also, the TEs made strong contributions, as expected. And then there was the play calling. Certainly the most creative and sometimes cooky game plan we’ve seen in these parts in a long, long time. That kind of stuff will win us some games and it will lose us some games but we will never be predictable again…

One more note. The very effective, well balanced offense that we saw Saturday was missing arguably its 3 best players in Hugh Charles, Josh Smith and Bernard Jackson. When those guys are on the field, we are going to be quite dangerous.


Defense:

The defense mightily struggled for the first 2 and a half quarters. CSU was moving the ball very effectively, particularly on 3rd down. Considering that this unit was the strength of last year’s team, their failures were shocking and disheartening. But down by 11 in the middle of the 3rd, the D stepped up and shut down CSU’s scoring allowing the offense to punch it’s way back into it and tie up the score to go into overtime. In overtime the D created it’s most pivotal play when T-Wheat intercepted a pass in the end zone to set the stage for the Buff victory. Let’s hope that the D thatfinished the game Saturday is the one we’ll see the rest of the season.

Also, my huge man crush of the week goes out to Jordan Dizon who tallied 20 tackes, 15 unassisted. Day-um!

Special teams:

Other than place kicking, this unit was pretty bad last year. Well, fear not, special teams should be a strength once again for the Buffs. The punting was solid, the place kicking was accurate and the returns were very good.


Overall grade:

Considering the importance of this game, the number of underclassmen starting and the venue, I give the Buffs an A.

The Rocky Mountain Hoe-down

Your season of discontent is about to end. Your off-season purgatory is mercifully terminating as you ascend to the heaven of weekly doses of college football. Glory be, let the games begin!

And who do we Buffaloes meet first but our kissing cousins from the North. Some call them the Colorado State University Rams. Others refer to them by their historical moniker, the Colorado A&M Aggies. Other known aliases include Colorado's Second University, CS Ewe, the Poudre Pirates, Larimer County Community College, Cow College, Dirt U, Fort Knockers, Scholars of Animal Husbandry... Where was I going with that? Oh yeah, the rivalry.

Yes, it is a rivalry. Even though CU has historically dominated the contest, the Rammies come loaded for bear every damned year. I respect them for this.

We love to razz them good naturedly. Not just because of their low paying jobs and their unattractive women but also because of their wardrobe. I mean, seriously. Guys who wear nearly thigh high boots with high heels and pointy toes while also adorning big garish hats have some not so well kept secrets in that closet. Then again, they say we're sissies because our boys shave our legs and wear bright colored lycra. To which I say... touché, Gomer, touché.

They hate us for being smarter, better looking and more charming. And for being arrogant. OK, we are a bit arrogant when it comes to CSU. For this I apologize even if I can't reform. Truly some of my favorite people on this planet are CSU alumni. I love them for their fun-loving, agrarian ways. They are the salt of the Earth. That is with the exception of Bradlee Van Pelt who is obviously an unredeemable prick.

The Lambs got the victory last year, part of a sad, sad season for CU. What will happen this year? No figgin' idea! CSU has lot's of experience. Offensively, the CSU QB Caleb Hanie surgically dismantled the CU defensive backfield last year even without the threat of a running game. This year slobber-knocker TB Kyle Bell returns from injury to balance Hanie's passing. This concerns me.

Then again, I believe the Buffs will bring a credible offense to this game (unlike last year). We too will be able to bring in balanced running and passing games. It may be unspectacular, but we should move the ball.

Regardless, both teams will come thirsty for blood. CU on a mission of redemption and CSU playing their Super Bowl. It will be fun. It will be college football!

And a damned early college football game at that. With the kick-off at Mile High scheduled for 10 AM, the tailgating activities will begin at 8 AM in lot D. Look for Hamid's impressive pole raised high above the parking lot. Also, there will be a big flag and windsock. (See what I did there, crotch humor!) We'll have the grill going cooking up some delicious parking lot breakfast treats for your hungry souls.

CU Saturday!

Buff Superheroes

Eight days left until the kickoff of the new season and what do we know? The press has been quite active on all aspects of the Buffs 2007 team. Netbuffs.com has been totally abuzz. And there have been a couple of scrimmages open to the public. So again, what do we know? Well, we still know very little. Such is the problem of watching teams play against themselves. But fear not, truth seekers. All will be revealed on September 1st.

Until then, here's a look at some of the characters that shape your 2007 Colorado Buffaloes...

Cody The Adorable

We know that Cody Hawkins will be the starting QB. Loveable, adorable, little kid. I’ve harped on his vertical deficiencies already but please don’t label me a heightist. I value all people equally regardless of physical stature. But I’m terribly hung up on this short QB issue. Yes, I think he’s the best guy on the roster to man the QB spot and I think that he’ll be serviceable. But this shortness issue ain’t going away. In last week’s scrimmage, he was impressive but on no fewer than 2 occasions his un-tallness caused terrible mistakes. First it was a pass that was tipped at the line of scrimmage then ultimately intercepted. Next it was a shotgun snap that sailed inches over his outstretched fingertips resulting in a 20 yard loss. When those things happen in an actual game, they can be devastating. Get the Nike scientists working on the new Air Lift cleats, STAT!

Michael the Destroyer

I previously discussed our deep and talented LB corp. Um, whoops. Since then the very important inside linebacker position has been badly crippled. Bad ass true sophomore Michael Sipili has been suspended for quite literally caving in the face of some guy during a fight on the Hill. His backup, Marcus Burton, has recently been declared academically ineligible. Kids today! So that leaves us with #3 string RJ Brown. By all accounts RJ is a great kid who does not perform free-lance facial deconstruction surgeries but does go to class. Great qualities. The problem is that he is under-sized, under-fast and otherwise under-gifted. This makes me under-happy.

Josh the Bruised

Soon after Josh Smith began camp and dazzled coaches and fans with his WR skills the true freshman collided with a Folsom Field wall in the 2nd scrimmage. The result, a bruised kidney. Ouch. He’ll be out for at least a few weeks and may end up red-shirting for the year. So who’s left at WR? Patrick Williams is teasing us again with his potential, Dusty Sprague and Alvin Barnett are disappearing and a walk-on named Scotty is likely to win the other spot. And don't forget, there’s another, dare I say, adorable Cody on the team. Cody Crawford the slow, tiny yet sure handed junior will be out there to haul in some 5 yard out patterns shortly before being drilled by a cornerback. I’m sorry, but when a full half of your offensive skill players are named Cody or Scotty, you might be in deep yogurt. Still adorable though!


Terrence the Invincible

Terrence Wheatley has been locked in at one cornerback position and is the real deal. He may be small but he’s as close a thing as there is to a shut-down corner. The question has been, who would win the other spot. The answer, Ben Burney. I love this kid (as I love all Buffs) but I really think that he should consider changing his name. A DB with “burn” in his name is just tempting fate. It’s about as intimidating to opposing offenses as a saftey named Dykes. What? That’s actually our safety’s name? Crap.


Note: It seems that all of these guys dress exactly alike. That's kind of freaking me out.

Season preview

If you know me, you know I'm an hysterical optimist. But as I age, I've been trying to bring realism into my world view. Sadly, optimism and realism are not always fast friends. With that said here's my 2007 Buff optimistic yet realistic preview.

The good news - 2006 is over. The worst year of the modern era occurred last year and we all watched it with horror and amazement. It was ugly, it was frustrating. But if we can use that as the baseline, there is nowhere to go but up! 2007 will be a year to look for progress. It will not, however, be the year to look for championships. So with "progress" in mind, let's break it down.

Coaching


You know Dan Hawkins is goofy and lovable. You know that he had a mind-boggling winning percentage at Boise State. So he's got my full support and I am rooting for him. But for me, the jury is still out. When I hear him speak and read his quotes he seems to me to be, well, not very smart. Enthusiastic, optimistic, confident, funny - you bet. I like all those qualities but if he's "Einstein on the Sidelines", he hides it well. 2006 was a rebuilding year and he was a bit limited in what he could do in the playbook. 2007 will be a much better season on which to judge his intellectual capacities. Let the goofy genius emerge!

Offense

The offense was terrible last year, yet somehow we were still in almost every game. This year it will be much better. I don't believe that it will be great, but I think it will be significantly more efficient and productive.

At quarterback, we're likely to see the fruit of Dan's loins, Cody Hawkins. Cody seems like a great kid and a good leader. But, let's be honest, he's just a little bitty 'un. I sure hope he's Doug Flutie reincarnate but I think that it's more realistic to think that he's just going to be smart and efficient but not an overly productive little, tiny, eensy weensy fella. And short too.

Speaking of short, Hugh Charles is short. But he is a bad ass short dude. He is fast as hell and has great moves. And he's strong. Still, he's not the kind of guy who can carry 20-30 times a game all year. He'll need help and I'm hopeful that one of the other backs will step up to spell Hugh. It would be great to see Demitrius Sumler turn into a third down monster or something. It would also be great to see a blocking fullback on the field. Fullbacks are still legal in college football, right?

Now let's turn our attention to the receiving corps. At WR, we are in sad shape. Patrick Williams has fallen below expectations each of the last 2 years. The guy totally looks the part until he actually tries to catch the ball and then... doink! We do have 3 evidently talented true freshmen coming in. If one or more of them can be ready to play this fall, it would be a boon. If not, we are in deep, terrifying trouble. The good news is that we have some very talented tight ends (Geer, Devree, Sanders). So look for lots of outlet passes to RBs and TEs.

The O-line is the most critical piece of the puzzle. I'm not gonna lie to you, I am scared to death about this unit. There is not much depth here although there is some talent. But realistically we are going to be starting a true freshman on the line this year and that is never a harbinger of good things.

So in summary, the offense will be much better this year but still pretty shaky. But we will have a cute-as-a button, miniature quarterback. So. Adorable!

Defense

Last year the D kept us in a lot of games even when the O absolutely could not find the end-zone or, often, a first down. Collectively, they should receive the congressional medal of honor or something. This year, I expect them to be just as good or better if the O can control the ball just a bit and score occasionally.

The defensive tackle position is well manned by big, nasty, manly, ugly guys like George Hypolite and Brandon Nicolas. Love those guys. The DE spot should do well with Maurice Lucas and Alonzo Barrett. Solid group all around.

Then there is the usual stellar linebacking corp. This group is anchored by 4 year starter, Jordan Dizon. The other 2 joining him are Michael Sipili and Brad Jones. They are big, they are fast and they are well coached. This group is simply bad ass.

The DBs are also quite talented. Tyrone Wheatley will man one of the corners and he is among the best in the business. At one safety is Ryan Walters who will blow you the hell up, bro.

In summary, the D is quite good and should give opponents plenty of problems.

Special Teams

Sadly, Mason Crosby is gone. Kevin Eberhart takes over the kicking duties and should be solid but simply mortal and un-Crosbylike.

Stephone Robinson was a good return man for a couple of years. Those were good times. But last year he was simply a disaster and was eventually benched. He could regain the job in this his senior year. But other candidates exist as well, so stay tuned on this one.

Matt DiLallo was the punter last year and he was unspectacular. Perhaps someone will inform him that he is a punter for Colorado and suddenly he'll start booming them. Besause that's what we do here - put that rock into the stratosphere, dog.

Summary

So there you have it, Friends. A completely optimistic, realistic, wild-ass projection of your 2007 Colorado Buffaloes. To recap:
* Defense - bad ass
* Special Teams - mystery
* Offense - adorable
* Coaching - goofy

GO BUFFS!




In related news, Alec Baldwin is now the head coach over at Nebraska. He was awesome in that one movie a while back... you know the one with that other guy. But he could never handle the weak side blitz, so I like our chances over the Fuskers.

Season Over

Well my friends, it was a rough one. Rebuilding is brutal but none of us expected 2-10. Thank goodness it's over.

In terms of immediate concerns, let's all cheer for OU in the Big XII Championship game. I want those damned Huskers to lose and lose badly. Don't bring that "support the division" crap. Anyone who thinks that we should have loyaly to a division, conference or whatever just is not paying attention. It does the Buffs no good whatsoever to have a North team (other than us, of course) win the Conference. As a matter of fact it does us some harm since it would strengthen the very team that we will need to beat next year to win the conference ourselves (more on that later). So shut up about that, OK?

Next issue - recruiting. The Buffs need a really solid class filling areas of need. For the most part, Hawk and staff are doing that. Lot's of O-linemen (including the best player in the state, Ryan Miller) have signed with us which is key. We also landed a couple of good QBs including a JC transfer. However, the one area that is the thinnest currently (WR) has not yet been addressed in recruiting. The good news is, the coaching staff won't be "distracted" during the month of December with silly things like conference championship games and bowl berths and will therfore have plenty of time to recruit some great receivers.

So relax Buff fans. Your suffereing is now over for this year. Take some time off to focus on other things like, I don't know, your job and family. Come back rested next year ready for the Buffs to improve significantly, eclipse .500, and make it back into the post season. The road to a confernce championship is likely many years long but we'll get back there. We will.

The Corn Bowl

FOTBs,

Look, facts are facts. We don't like Nebraska and they don't like us. Although in our case, the reasons for disliking NU are well understood and justified. In their case, they hate us because we have beautiful women, a future, command over the English language and this evil "blogging" technology which surely is the work of Satan or the Democrats and what's the difference anyway...

The point is that Friday's game will be a big damned blood feud. Both teams wanting to exact a pound of flesh and claim bragging rights for one year. To the victor go the spoils whatever that means.

I, like all Buffs, would just hate losing to the Huskers. Yet I must admit that they are likely to kick our butts. They have a solid, talented team which is clearly on the rise. They will play in the Big XII champioship game next week and good bowl after that. The Buffs on the other hand are 2-9 with no bowl game on the horizon. A pitiful season nearly mercifully over...

But wait, faithful. Know this - the road to Buffaloe salvation goes through Stinkin' Lincoln. We will bring every last ounce of emotion, every last bit of energy to the game on Friday. We may go down, but we'll do so having fired every last bullet in our gun. And we will walk off that field with our heads held high - win or lose.

In many ways, it's a no lose situation for the Buffs. Everyone expects us to lose. So if we do, we merely meet expectations. But if we win? Oh brother! If we win, we're the Corn Bowl Champs with heaps of mometum going into next year. NU is utterly humilated by losing - at home - to a 2-9 team one week before going to the conference champioship game. Husker confidence is so rattled that they lay a turd in KC and lose to Texas 70-3 (eery isn't it?) and similarly collapse in the bowl game before spending the off-season searching for answers. And every night they'll cry themselves to sleep knowing that it was the Buffs who once again knocked the Corn Express off the tracks and into the ditch.

And that is why we play this game, friends. For the chance to exact pain on a much deserving cult of Corn. Delicious, isn't it?

Happy Thanksgiving. Give thanks that you were born a Buff.

GO BUFFS!
Buffalover

The greatest college football game of our generation (except for the 1990 Orange Bowl, of course)

Look, I know that this is supposed to be a blog about the Buffs. But the Buffs are off this weekend while preparing to humiliate the Huskers next week. And there just so happens to be a little game being played tomorrow that is, shall we say, "interesting." Michigan v. Ohio State.

Hey, I hate the over-hyped events just as much as the next guy. But I think it's safe to say that it's difficult to overstate the magnitude of this particular game. Consider this:
1) The UM/OSU rivalry is unquestionably the best in college sports and an argument can be made that it's the best in American sports - period.
2) OSU is #1 and UM is #2 in every poll and in the BCS rankings. The number 3 team (USC) is as distant as you can get at this level.
3) It's the last game that either of these teams will play before the bowl season. Meaning in all likelihood the Fiesta Bowl will feature the winner of this game and some controversial one-loss team. So in essence, tomorrow's game is the real national championship game.

I don't care if you have no interest or allegiance to either of these schools - this is a must watch event. And while you are must-watching it, may I suggest that you root for Michigan. I have my own biases towards Michigan which some of you share. But even if you are technically neutral, I have one unarguable reason why you will root for the Blue. OSU wears red. You are a Buff fan and therefore you and leading scientists agree that people who wear red are simply more evil than people who don't. So strike a mighty blow against evil by pulling for the Wolverines tomorrow.

Go Blue!
Buffalover

Victory # 2

Fantastic. Let us savor the taste of victory. During a season in which it has been far too hard to come by, winning really has never been more sweet. The last home game of the season found the Buffs hitting on all cylinders for just the second time of the season. The result - a dominating, delightful win.

This one ensures us that that this season will not go down in the record book as the worst (though it's close). It also gives us some confidence and some momentum going into the final game of the season... but we'll save that discussion for another day.

Today, enjoy it. Think about the seniors who have endured so much. And think about how fun the climb back up the hill is going to be.

Clobber the 'Clones

Friends of the Buffaloes,

Last Saturday was a day to remember. Beautiful weather, unobstructed Flatirons view, good friends and tasty lobsters. A perfect fall Boulder afternoon. Definitely a privilege and an honor to behold.

What's that you say? The game was painful? Awful? Disappointing? Miserable? Well, buck up little Buffalo soldiers, better times are ahead. Sure, this is the worst season in over 20 years but let me tell you something. Never EVER forget who you are. You are a Buff and attending games at Folsom Field is not simply your duty, it's an honor and a privilege. Take the word of the guy who lives half a world away and still made it to two games this year.

Furthermore, every painful loss that the Buffs have endured this year is just fuel. Explosive fuel for a Buffalo time bomb that will someday ignite with the power and the fury to blow apart the world of college football and unleash hell upon our rivals. The day is coming, my friends and we will rejoice in the rhapsody of the faithful and the righteous. Oh yes, the day is coming...

And that day, might just be Saturday at Folsom Field where the Buffs will square off against the Iowa State Cyclones. So be sure to exercise your right and privilege of taking your friends and loved ones out for one last view of the 2006 Buffs. The day is coming.

Go Buffs!
Buffalover