Rock Bottomer

Your faithful correspondent reports this week from the warm and exotic climes of Hong Kong - home of armies of park occupying, slow motion, invisible foe kung fu fighting grandmothers.

Hong Kong grandmas.  Undefeated for eternity.

As I lumber through the park on my morning runs, I gaze at the kung fu grandmas...

Not pictured, invisible bad guys recoiling in pain.

So calm, so relaxed, in another zone unaffected by the buzzing madness of the real-time world.  And I think to myself - this must be how the Buff defensive backs feel.

Cover Two

Maybe the grandmas know something that we don't.  That the speed and stress of our lives is but an illusion, a world unworthy of conscious occupation.  In the right frame of mind and physical concentration one can disengage from the rat race and enter a better world.  A world of one's own making.

I want to enter that world.

Because in my world, the peace and equilibrium of tai chi is instead replace with the crazed screams and self immolation of Colorado defenses.

"It was my understanding that the opponents would be invisible and unable to punch me in the face."

"This is the worst tai chi class ever, coach."

"Again with the face punching?"

In my world, the browser transports to Hong Kong a withering assessment by the great Matt Hinton...

"There was already considerable evidence before Saturday that the Colorado Buffaloes, 0-2 with demoralizing losses to Colorado State and Sacramento State, may be the worst team in major college football. At Fresno State, though, the Buffs made a compelling bid for the ages in what must rank among the worst performances in recorded NCAA history."

Mr Hinton's words are as inarguable as they are indelicate.  The rock bottom we'd thought we'd seen has now sunk so, so much lower.

And now the Pac12 schedule begins.  First up is the familiar face of the dread pirate Mike Leach and his new charges, the Washington State Cougars.  The author of the Air Raid must be drooling with anticipation at the Buffs' incompetent teenaged defenders.  Dear Buddha...

But alas, this team is our team.  We're bonded by the Black and Gold blood coursing through our veins.  There's no escaping the turbulence.  Just pull your seat belt tight and hold on until it's over.

"Who is that sweaty white boy and why is he weeping?  He should try tai chi."